Holiday Review: Easter’s not as good as Halloween

Easter is officially celebrated in honor of the rising of Jesus of Nazareth from the dead three days after his death, as according to the Christian Bible. It was probably developed by early Christians as a replacement for the Jewish Feast of Passover.

The idea of Easter is kind of weird, especially if one doesn’t have much Christian background. This dude, who lived thousands of years ago, was tortured to death and then apparently was resurrected. Understandably not as easy to be excited about this as one might be for, maybe, a baby being born.

The placing of Easter is one of my biggest critiques. It falls under a category called movable feasts, which basically means that it has no fixed date. To figure out when Easter is going to be each year involves complex calculations involving the Lunar calendar and various other factors.

In fact, many different Christian sects disagree on when Easter is every year. This is a big red flag for me. I, personally, enjoy being able plan my holidays without having to pull out my TI-1000 gt xs Gaming edition.

Then there’s the mascot: the Easter bunny. At first glance nothing seems all that wrong, bunnies are super cute right? I mean the odd connection Easter makes between bunnies and eggs is weird, but forgivable. However most depictions of the Easter Bunny have them being human-sized or even bigger. A seven-foot rabbit with big, anime eyes? That’s terrifying.

Let’s get down to the real brass tacks. Easter is a candy-based holiday, not a food or present based holiday, therefore its big competition is Halloween. It’s pros and cons time. Halloween you get to dress up like your favorite characters. Easter you have to wear your “church clothes.” Ugh, gross. 1–0 Halloween.

Halloween you go door to door around your neighborhood and people just GIVE you candy (unless you’re from St Louis and you have to tell jokes for candy). On Easter your parents HIDE candy from you and you have to LOOK for it. WHYYY? 2–0 Halloween.

During Halloween you get to stay up real late, I’m talking like 10:30! But on Easter you get your candy like WAY sooner. So I guess that one’s a draw. Halloween wins 3–1.

Overall I’ll give Easter a 7/10. It can be a little annoying sometimes, but hey pastel colours are nice and jelly beans freaking rock.

Post Author: tucollegian

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