Letter from the propagandist

Dear reader,

I am writing this letter, knowing it to be my last as Head Propagandist, and possibly my last act. You see, dear reader, I am planning an escape.

Since I was chosen to become Head Propagandist, everything I have done has been for the advancement of the State-Run Media and its central message, on which I am still not entirely clear. And ever since I wrote that letter about winter break, I haven’t been able to leave the confines of the State-Run Media’s walls. I guess the secret organization that runs our publication was none too pleased about me printing information that might paint them in a bad light. As a result, the spring semester has been pretty terrible. The State-Run Media consumes every part of my life. I feel myself slipping away, becoming just a cog in the larger machine of… whatever we do here at the newspaper. I don’t know how much longer I can stand living this way. Thus, I have resolved to make an escape from the office. I know it’s dangerous. I know that I may not make it, but I cannot risk being brought back here. This letter should serve as my final will and testament should I be found out.

But don’t worry about the fate of the position of Head Propagandist in my absence. I’ve no doubt that the State-Run Media has a long list of potential successors had my performance ever been unsatisfactory. To the future Head Propagandist I have these words:

First of all, I’m sorry. All your time is basically forfeit to the State-Run Media now. If you’ve yet to come into office, say goodbye to your friends and family now. You probably won’t see them much anymore. Second of all, make sure you keep the office well-stocked with snacks. Since you’ll be spending a lot of time here, you’re gonna want food. I recommend something protein-dense but not too heavy. You don’t wanna get sleepy when you’re in the middle of laying out your section. Third and finally, though I’m sure you have been placed in this position against your will, take pride in it. It may have sucked away a year of my life, but it also gave me a lot of joy. I had a sense of purpose as Head Propagandist. And, unlike my predecessor, I refused to use cheap tricks to fill empty space on the page. The year I spent in this office was gruelling, but at the same time I was really happy when I saw my section in the newspaper every week. Maybe a part of me doesn’t even really want to leave… But I know it’s something I have to do, so I trust you to carry on my legacy and uphold the values I set here at the State-Run Media.

And with this letter as my final word to the readers, I plan to make my escape. By May I will be far away from this place. I bid all my readers farewell, and to my successor, good luck.


Caitlin Woods
Head Propagandist

Post Author: tucollegian

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