Look, I enjoy yoga, not butts

It’s come to my attention there has been some speculation that I’m only interested in yoga to see people’s butts. I’d like to let everyone know that this is simply not true. My interest in the ancient and sacred art of yoga most definitely stems from the numerous benefits it provides, and nothing whatsoever with the completely circumstantial fact that it places large, round, jiggly asses in the air for extended periods of time. When I think of yoga, my thoughts don’t go to tight buns, but instead to the subliminal beauty of watching a human contort themselves into a perfect upside-down “V” to complete the downward-facing dog: hands spread out in front, feet flat on the ground, booty perfectly aligned at the peak.
Plus, erections are totally common when doing complex, chakra-aligning exercises, and are most decidedly not the result of staring at my partner’s posterior. It’s like you don’t know the first thing about yoga. I’m tired of ignorant people mistaking my love of stretching with a carnal desire to observe members of the opposite sex for extended periods of time.
Finally, I’d like to also take this time to clarify that my love of the cobra pose has to do with the many muscles it stretches, and is absolutely not related to the fact that it manages to impressively put both butts and boobs on full display. I figured I should clear that up once and for all.

Post Author: Sam Beckmann