Jack “Daniels” Beardman was seen last week quickly deleting his browser history after a harsh three hour-long study session. His friend, who was borrowing Beardman’s computer, asked him why he deleted his history and Beardman replied, “It was just, um, porn. Yeah, I was watching porn.”
Beardman is known for his enjoyment of parties and devil-may-care attitude about academics. He’s famous for his “Jack Daniels chug” where he chugs five Jack and Cokes from a beer bong.
Beardman is a biochemistry major. He often complains to his friends about how hard his classes are and how he usually gets low C’s. “C’s get degrees, am I right,” he told a reporter with the State-Run Media.
However, after talking to a few of his professors, it appears that this may be a façade.
“Jack is a fantastic student,” his organic chemistry teacher said in an interview. “He usually has one of the highest grades in the class.”
One of Beardman’s other boasts is that he pays for a Chegg account and uses the solution manuals provided. However, after a check of his account, it turns out he’s one of the top answer providers for chemistry and biology questions in the “Ask an Expert” section.
After revealing this information to some of Beardman’s friends they said that he “should be proud of his academic accomplishments,” and that “he can still chug like 5 Jack and Cokes in 25 seconds, and that’s pretty cool.”