Roommate treaty broken in three days

Minor inconveniences stack up to a fight to the death.

This is a chronicle of the events of room 220. An all-out war was waged; the hall had no survivors. The following is an accurate retelling of the battles that ensued.

1045 hours, Monday: Treaty signed and noted. The roommates have taken their sides of the room. John’s territory lies to the east, and Marcus’s lies to the west. Both parties have taken the time to mark a demarcation line through the center of the room. In doing so, they agree to keep items on their respective sides of the room.

1900 hours, Monday: The first signs of waning on both sides. The roommates have disagreed on the temperature in which the dorm should stay. John likes it chilly at 67 degrees, while Marcus likes it warmer at 77. This has led to marches to adjust the temperature every so often. Despite this, the treaty still stands.

0700 hours, Tuesday: Guerilla forces emerge from Marcus’s side of the room and are making a break for the demarcation line. A rouge sock has made its way to nearly cross the line. John has noticed this and begun stern talks to back off Marcus’s forces. The talks seem to fall on deaf ears as Marcus does not understand how a sock can be such a big deal. In an attempt of passive-aggressive force, John scoops up the sock and drives it back to enemy territory.

2100 hours, Tuesday: Tensions run high in room 220 as Marcus finds his side of the room in disarray. John invites a group of his closest allies and comrades over to have “foreign relations,” leaving Marcus’s side of the room, in his own words, “Messy in the way that I’m not used to.” Patience wears thin on both sides. For any other nation, this foreign invasion would be a declaration of total war, and though it seems not too far off, no official word has been given from either side. Only time will tell.

0100 hours, Wednesday: A surprise attack befalls John as he crosses the line to turn down the air conditioner. He is attacked in the black of night and falls over due to the surprise attack. The lights reveal the perpetrator: a pile of rogue clothes and food trash that had made a nice home on John’s side of the room. John takes note of this heinous offense and plans to address this political issue when Marcus returns from his ambassadorial mission.

1800 hours, Wednesday: It is official: the treatise between these two parties has been broken. An RA tries to console the two parties, but the damage has been done, and an all-out war has been declared. John’s allies had become restless of his complaining and taken matters into their own hands, deciding to ravage Marcus’s side of the room. In retaliation, Marcus pettily dumps his food, trash and dirty clothes over on John’s side of the line. War is in full swing between these two. With trash and dirty garments awry, many fear there will be no survivors in this residence hall.

Post Author: Jourdon White