Last week, the university hosted a Stress and Resiliency Workshop to help students who are struggling to maintain a healthy balance between school and other activities. The night of the event, hitting his stride after three Red Bulls and a two-and-a-half minute nap, TU junior Donnie Johnson began work on his four midterms and a nine page paper due that midnight, sources stated Thursday morning. Johnson was reportedly heard muttering “I think I can, I think I can,” while getting lunch at ACAC that day.
“The stress workshop seemed like it would be really good for him,” Johnson’s roommate Grant Wynn told reporters, “But when I told him about it, he said that he was coping just fine.” This was right after Johnson, reportedly, had begun dehydrating 5-hour energy shots so he could better mix it with his coffee. One of Johnson’s professors also told the State-Run-Media, “I’m sure he’s paying attention in class, I’m just not sure whether he blinks at all.” As of press time, Johnson was unavailable for comment.