“Super moon” violates university policy on personal space

The Supreme Court might have to extend the jurisdiction of the restraining order to a galactic level. Many TU students during the lunar eclipse complained the moon was “too close for comfort,” and they would sue it if the moon tries to pull that on them again.

Inside sources told State-Run reporters that, during the lunar eclipse last Monday, the moon actually violated university policies implemented in the 1950s regarding personal space.

Although the university has not made any public statement regarding this issue, the general consensus seems to be that the moon did not take any hints. Most students testified they were only cool with Netflix and chilling, but the moon just got too close. Apparently, the moon was also blushing. This only lessened its attractiveness. One student who wishes to remain unnamed stated, “It was obvious the moon was totally unconfident and inexperienced.”

It is a controversial issue whether the terms of discomfort that we feel on earth apply to galactic planets. Although we have confirmed that Mars cried tears when he finally had company in the form of a research project team from NASA, and Pluto turned ice cold after being ostracized, we have not had any emotional emissions from our moon. It seems to have a causal relationship going on with the sun when they overlapped for a 30 second quickie, but apparently, it still doesn’t have its dating tactics nailed. But it reportedly plays the push and pull game with the ocean pretty well.

There are reports that the moon might slowly shy away within the next couple of days, just like you do to that one person you hooked up with at that party you half remember.

Post Author: tucollegian

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