Taylor Swift sucks and is overrated, but Arby’s rock

Does Arby’s have the meats? Myranda refused to title the article so I did it for her

It’s 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night, and I am absolutely starving. My endless pile of controls, economics and senior design homework can only sustain so much of my soul, but unfortunately, none at all of my physical form. It’s not hub chub time at Whataburger, and I’ve already visited Raisin’ Cane’s 16 times in the last month. There is only one place left for me to turn: Arby’s.

The glorious red arch that glows across our campus, beaming in welcome for anyone who wishes to sink their teeth into a terrific sandwich. Their slogan, “We have the meats,” has never felt more true. Right now, that’s exactly what I need.

I am a simple woman, and I never fail to order a medium classic roast beef meal with curly fries and a root beer. In the drive through, they always ask me if curly fries are okay as the side to my sandwich. Of course, they are okay! Truly what other side dish do they think they could offer that would be on par with the curly fries that Tulsa Burger & Wing Co. in the student union wish they could be.

While they are not a fry and therefore are not comparable to the curly fries, I must say that the mozzarella sticks at Arby’s are quite good. The seasonings mixed into the batter paired with the marinara sauce is a delectable combination, and I would even go as far as to say that the mozzarella sticks here are far superior to those at Sonic. If only I could muster up the courage to try the jalapeno bites.

Much like the McDonald’s sprite, I believe the Arby’s root beer to have healing powers. The carbonation is divine, so much more than a normal root beer would hold, and the syrup is packed full of flavor. I drink Arby’s root beer as if I were in the desert and have never seen a drop of water before.

If you need a sweet treat, the turnovers are incredible, the perfect balance between a warm fruit and icing, with a flaky crust that is like a pillow, but will not make a mess in your car as you try to eat it. I, for one, am an absolute slut for the apple turnover, which is included in my happiest memories as far back as when I was nine years old.

The salted caramel chocolate cookie is literally the best thing I have ever put into my mouth. No cookie I have ever had before has ever compared to this cookie that I got at a random Arby’s on an Arkansas highway on a humid summer evening. It is chewy yet firm, sweet yet salty, and large enough that you can eat the whole thing yourself or share with others without feeling like you are missing out. I may be a slut for the apple turnover, but I would sell my soul for this goddamn cookie.

But the sandwich. The reason we are all here, for the meats, for this sandwich. What to say about the magnificence of the classic roast beef sandwich. There is a reason it is a classic. It is absolutely loaded with roast beef, layers upon layers of a meat that is lighter than chicken, yet still makes you feel like you got your daily dose of protein. The sesame seeds across the top of the bun give it just enough crunch and texture to offset the layers of roast beef, and the bun is squished down just enough that you can feel like you have never had a more fulfilling bite in your life. Through the deepest of hangovers or worst of flus, that roast beef sandwich has supported me when I did not even support myself.

If you simply are not feeling the classic roast beef sandwich, the sliders are also great options, flavor packed in a little punch that you can chowdown on in between parent-teacher conferences or meetings in the office. And who can forget the gyros, which I was obsessed with in junior high school before I learned that I was allergic to tzatziki sauce.

No matter what you need, no matter when you need it, as long as it is before 10:30 p.m.., Arby’s will be there to support you. Whether it be yet another soccer tournament with your rageful team, Thanksgiving because someone did not cook the turkey all the way through, a heartbreak or the happiest night of your life, you know where to find the meats.

Post Author: Myranda New