The Bleacher Creature

Get a Load of This Kid

With the sparkling debuts of such baseball wunderkinds as Mike Trout, Bryce Harper and Carlos Correa in the last several years, you probably thought you had seen it all when it comes to incredible rookie seasons. But then you heard a different story that made you question what was even possible. A Trevor Story (bad pun, but I had to).

Trevor Story, rookie shortstop for the Colorado Rockies, not only homered in his first at-bat in the major leagues, he decided to hit another one in the same game. And then another in the game after that. And another after that one. And then two more in the same game after that!

For those of you keeping score at home, that’s six home runs to go along with 11 RBIs — both MLB leading totals — through his first four games. Can Story possibly keep this up? Unless you think he’ll somehow end the season with 200 some odd homers, it seems pretty likely that Story will cool off sooner rather than later.

He has the pedigree of a decent prospect but the talent he has displayed before this point has never been indicative of anything otherworldly like that displayed by the big three mentioned before.

In all likelihood, his will be the story of lightning in a bottle, something like the Johnny Vander Meer of position players (Vander Meer was the league-average pitcher who set the league on fire in 1938 with a record two consecutive no-hitters) or for a cross-sports reference, Linsanity in New York. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t enjoy the ride while it’s happening!

Oh Ernie

Golf is hard, ok? I know a hell of a lot of people who like to deride golfers and criticize them for their lack of athletic ability because a fair few of them look a bit out of shape. But if you’ve never actually tried taking a swing and getting the ball to go where you actually want it to, or putting on a slick, impossible-to-read green, I urge you to give it a go!

You’ll be terrible, I guarantee it, and it will really make you appreciate the low scores, incredible drives and perfect spins of the pros the next time you tune into a major.

Of course, there are times when the professionals look just as hapless out there as the rest of us, and it’s those moments that remind us just how difficult gold really is, as well as the fact that everybody who plays it is still human.

Ernie Els, four-time major winner, former world number one, and World Golf Hall of Famer, had one of these meltdowns at the very first hole of the Masters this past Thursday, shooting a 6 over par 10 and missing five putts from within two feet of the hole. It’s something that would have looked embarrassing at your local country club, and he did it on the biggest stage in the game.

Just don’t get too anxious to make fun of the guy, because honestly most of us could not do much better.

We’ll Always Have the Jokes

It’s really happening guys. D’Brickashaw Ferguson, three-time Pro Bowl Left Tackle for the New York Jets and owner of the greatest name in all of sports, is retiring and it’s a sad day indeed to be a sports fan.

He was never a flashy player despite that glorious moniker but rather was the definition of workmanlike consistency, missing just a single snap over his entire career dating back to 2006.

Mostly though, we’re going to miss saying “DBrickashaw Ferguson” out loud — the name that inspired that outrageous Key & Peele skit.

He will join the ranks of the great retired sports names, alongside God Shammgod, Dick Trickle, Rusty Kuntz, Boots Day, Fabian Assman, Stubby Clapp, World B. Free, Have-a-Look Dube, Fair Hooker, Dick Butkus, Misty Hyman, Wonderful Terrific Monds Jr. and of course Randy “The Big Unit” Johnson. It’s elite company big guy, you’ve earned it.

Post Author: tucollegian

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