The Bleacher Creature

New Year, Same Lavar
Last week, the bombastic Professional Dad made waves when he declared to the national media that head coach Luke Walton had lost the respect of the Lakers’ locker room. Fake news sites like ESPN ran with this buffoon’s opinion as if it was fact and posited that it might just be Walton who was the problem with the Lakers. You know, it couldn’t possibly be the fact that they are a young, inexperienced, not overtly talented team. Even worse, Lonzo Baby doubled down on his father’s tomfoolery and refused to endorse Walton when asked about it by reporters, giving the man such glowing praise as “I’ll play for anybody,” and “I don’t decide who coaches.” Beautiful words man, that’s what any organization loves to hear from its franchise player. I’ve said before in this space that I’m not a Lonzo hater and I’d really like to keep it that way. I love watching the guy play and he’s not a net negative on the court anymore. But come on, show a little backbone next time my dude.

Bored with Bama
Shit, here we go again. Is this how the rest of the country feels when the Patriots always win? I won’t pretend that I’m particularly invested in college football outside of TU, a consequence of growing up in the northeast. Still, it just feels goddamn awful that Alabama won its fifth national championship in the last nine years. I think the reason college dynasties feel so much worse than professional ones is twofold. One, since new players are coming in and out so often, continuity feels like it should be harder to maintain. The UConns, Kentuckys and ‘Bamas of the world all seem like they are gaming the system to be as consistently good for as long as they are. And two, they produce the Toby Flendersons of the sports world: college bandwagon fans. Bandwagoners are pretty terrible in general, but they are especially offensive in college sports. What the hell is the point of rooting for a school if you have no connection to it?? Anyway, I’m sick of Alabama. I don’t want to hear “Roll Tide” outside of the Jaime-Cersei sex scenes in “Game of Thrones.” Also, UCF were the true national champions, don’t @ me.

Shame on You Tulsa
No, not you TU, you did a great job. The student section support at Saturday’s Wichita St. game, the first of our new American conference “Havoc in the Heartland” rivalry, was as enthusiastic as any I can remember. But the rest of the arena? The place was a sea of the sickly yellow and black of our foes. That is absolutely embarrassing. Late in the first half, when WSU started on their blistering run to come back from an early ten point deficit, the Reynolds Center was maybe the loudest I’ve ever heard it. The place was rocking. And all of that noise was coming from opposing fans, cheering on their own boys on our home floor. There was a moment I’ll never forget when Martins Igbanu looked towards the student section with absolute despair in his eyes, pumping his arms furiously to try to get something louder out of us. Thing is, we were all screaming our lungs out. Next time, we need the rest of the city’s help.

Post Author: Justin Guglielmetti