The Weekly Yak

In this week’s April Fool’s edition of The Weekly Yak, I just want to say the most foolish app update is the one that gave people the option to remove the anonymity of an anonymous app. Why do people have usernames, and why are some of them so creative? It’s dumb. When I returned to Yik Yak I was asked to make a username. Absolutely not. Catch me continue to be #4 in the responses on tortapounder’s or acac_cockroach’s posts. Why does my content have identities now? This week I learned that there are only five consistent users of the app from our school, and they all hate lemonsour.

It was a majestic return of all things that are as bipolar as my ex-boyfriend: Roark’s short-lived yellow tulips, the weather, fragile power cables, and Tato and their ongoing list of committed crimes. There was some light to be found this week and it wasn’t solely in the US Square Apartments. Here are the top 10 posts from this week. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks, and ones in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:

“We’re so back (I don’t want to be)” – Tulsa

“Guy that plays the guitar outside of target for springfest!” – Tulsa

“We really need a frozen yogurt place at TU” – Tulsa

“Dear Students,
Sorry for any inconvenience, but Tulsa is happy to announce the start of a new Program!! Only $12.99/mo, we will offer you free VIP access to the Tulsa electric grid.
Yours truly,
Brad Carson” – Tulsa

“I’m so sick of this winter [redacted]. Flowers had me thinking it was spring” – gym_cat

“Petition for brad to cancel classes on april 8th so we can go watch the eclipse” – Tulsa

“Prayers to those involved in the accident” – Tulsa

“Seems like there are some genuinely depressed people on yikyak today. Please talk to someone. Don’t let a [redacted] stretch of time at TU be the end of you. There’s more out there to experience.” – acac_cockroach

“They’re really gonna make me take a [redacted] in candle light” – Tulsa

“@bradcarson did you forget to pay the electric bill” – phat_nut

What else is there to look forward to for the rest of the semester? I can’t think of anything except my opinion on these and future Yik Yak posts:

“Saw Tato drive a lifted F-150 into a utility pole this morning, could be connected to the power outage?” – Tulsa

“If my fish die while i’m in class cause the power is out for too long i will be fighting someone” – Tulsa

“Hopped off the plane at TUL, I’m depressed again.” – Tulsa

“I need to drink a bottle of tequila before going back to classes” – tortapounder

“Me staring at myself in the mirror at age 12” – Tulsa, in response to “Lower your weight, correct your form.” – gym_cat

Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens.

Post Author: Hannah Moua