The Weekly Yak

It was a bad week for people who thought there would be something to look forward to last week. Personally, pulling up the class schedules had me feeling like a fool at 8am on April first, knowing full well that the classes I need aren’t being offered. If you see me posting The Weekly Yak’s until the end of time, it’s because they aren’t going to let me graduate. There’s already a chain on my ankle that I drag with me from Oliphant to Chapman five times a week, and as the semester goes on I gain more links.

There is some reprieve from the disappointment by going onto Yik Yak, and there was no disappointment to be found within others’ disappointment. We got a lot of disturbing news this past week, such as the lineup for this year’s Spring Fest (Twinsick’s EDM mashup of Noah Kahan’s “Stick Season” made me sick!) and storms that were predicted to be a lot worse than they ended up being. Also, WBB got out of March Madness, and it was the first time I felt engaged in anything having to do with this school’s athletics. Apartments are filling up faster than the five offered classes for my major and everyone is having an issue whether they live and breathe TU or find themselves stopping for Dutch Bros. as they drive to class every morning.

As one of my professor’s said in class last week, April is the worst month of the school year. We are a week into the month, and it’s been going on for quite too long. Revel in these moments of stagnancy before Yik Yak becomes nothing but anonymous therapy during finals with Tato telling us that life has a meaning. For now, we have the top ten posts from this week, mentioning the highs and lows, but mostly the lows. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks, and ones in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:

“Tornado if you can hear us, please tornado please hit keplinger hall” – Tulsa

“Giving day? How about you start giving us more scholarships” – Tulsa

“As a native Okie, it doesn’t feel like a tornado so we should be good” – Tulsa

“I genuinely would rather have the guy that plays the guitar outside of target for springfest than twinsick. At least i’ve heard of the guy who plays guitar outside of target” – Tulsa

“You’re sitting there saying she’s mid, meanwhile home girl is FIGHTING for her life because she sent a photo of you in the groupchat” – Tulsa

“Nothing exemplifies DG better than the 5 cars parked right by the no parking sign” – Tulsa


“Getting slut shamed as a virgin gotta be the most ironic thing ever” – Tulsa

“Happy Easter!! Jesus loves each and everyone of you (heart emoji x19)” – Tulsa

“Just saw some idiot” – Tulsa

The people of TU have spoken, and I’m just the messenger of the masses. The thoughts above do not represent me nor the Collegian in full. However, my personal opinion lies in my favor for these specific Yik Yak posts from this past week:

“You sound like a housefly. Attracted to glucose, rubs limbs together whilst consuming glucose. Have you laid your larva yet?” – Tulsa, in response to “Drinking wine and rubbing my feet together. Life is good.” – Tulsa

“All love to the women’s basketball team. Y’all did your best” – Tulsa

“I would die for Boris Dralyuk (crying emoji)” – Tulsa

“Last couple of weeks of school will have you googling [redacted] like ‘how to find the strength to go on’” – Tulsa

“Our lord and savior Travis Meyer is still wearing the jacket and tie we are golden” – Tulsa

Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens. Free Palestine.

Post Author: Hannah Moua