The Weekly Yak

Cut the cameras, our 1 hour of coming-of-age moment is over and, not for the first time, I wish the conspiracy theorists were right about it launching us into the end times. It is, however, the end of my GPA, the end of the beginning of enrollment period and the end of available apartments for next semester. Course evals have opened up, and hopefully some specific professors are shivering in their timbers. If there was anything I could evaluate, it would be the course of this semester. In case you haven’t done so, make sure to send your eclipse glasses to Latin America so that 50 children don’t have to crowd around a telescope with nine (9) pairs of glasses to share.

The drama of Yik Yak this week consisted of voting, once again, because Heaven forbid, as one Yik Yak says, TU has “ONE straightforward process.” This just in: public speaking results in anonymous outrage on three separate occasions, from Wednesday’s Chi-O Sings, to yet another free birth control convention in ACAC (not just surrounding the contraceptive vending machine) to upperclassmen getting a second housing option in Pike’s laundry room–don’t worry, no one uses it anyways.

You can find more of that drama on Yik Yak, or you can make it easier for yourself and read the top ten posts from last week here. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks, and ones in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:

“Can we please normalize hanging out in the U more – I love feeling like we’re in a movie” – Tulsa

“Everyone in the old u together makes me happy! Wish this was more normal” – Tulsa

“The old u looks so typical college movie rn i love it” – Tulsa

“To the pikes who laughed at me after ur softball game…i hope the university finds out about ur hazing and u get put on sopro (heart-eyes emoji) [redacted] you (heart-hands emoji) #elephant walkkings” – Tulsa

“I’m sorry, but if there are 11 people on the waitlist, add another [redacted] section.” – Tulsa

“Hey First Name!” – Tulsa

“Can we normalize leaving class at some point everyday to distract ourselves from the fact the professor just reads off slides and wastes time but counts your attendance” – Tulsa

“Did covid era kids just not learn how to walk or something because i’ve had to juke out at least 19 debate kids today who walked directly into me” – Tulsa

“I love this! And if we want this then we set the tone for the culture we make on campus. So start getting word out that we hang on the old U on Monday’s or however y’all want it to be!” Tulsa

“It is I… first name” – Tulsa

Of course, it wouldn’t be The Weekly Yak without my favorites from this week as well:

“If I don’t die from walking up the Oliphant stairs I am gonna live forever” – Tulsa

“Me when I don’t get raptured during the eclipse and still have to write the essay I’ve been putting off (sad face emoji)” – brain_rot

“Who needs conversion camp when you have Jojo Swia” – Tulsa

“Nothing they could possibly debate is worth this madness” – Tulsa

“Stop giving campus tours. We literally have no more room.” – Tulsa

Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens. Free Palestine.

Post Author: Hannah Moua