The Weekly Yak

Fighting street crime the TU way, with chai and “Blank Space (Taylor’s Version)” blaring. It was a great week for campus, but I wouldn’t say it was just because of Homecoming, because the only thing that came home was Starbucks. We as a collective really put the “unity” in community this week with the Halloween festivities, the celebratory grand opening of the state’s largest Starbucks and the mass hysteria and false delusion that hey, TU really cares. Also, no I am definitely not writing this with my second latte of the day.

As a surveyor of the dramatic goldmine that is Tulsa’s Yik Yak page, I feel an obligation to mention the events that occurred and the context of a few of the popular posts from the last week. Please be aware that your harmful actions have consequences, which is the public shaming from hundreds of your peers on an anonymous social app. That is all.

Dining dollars are circulating in the economy, McFarlin Library will finally have the funds to fix the building, my assignments were all graded — TU is a utopia once again. The last time it felt this good was whenever men weren’t allowed to enroll here, because the majority of women at least know how to respect the multicultural community of the university. We all had so many great things to say this week, so let’s get to the top ten Yik Yak posts of this week. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks, and ones in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:

“A little PSA to the 6 guys that were outside next to the New U that went ahead and painted a [redacted] and wrote big [redacted] Gus on the multicultural painting. We got pics of 3 of your faces. Also like close ups of y’all when y’all ran to mayo. I’d email Ingram..” – Tulsa

“Imma say it again…these football players better be studying bc they’re not going to the nfl (skull emoji)” – Tulsa

“It’s time. Brad, it will be freezing with potential for slick spots across campus tomorrow morning. Class must be canceled” – Tulsa

“I pissed in a frat guys room cause they wouldn’t let my boys in #[redacted]pike” – Tulsa

“Wake up babe it’s time to get motley crue’s pumpkin spice latte” – Tulsa

“Being rude to service workers is the biggest ick like what did they ever do to you” – Tulsa

“Football team is doing so bad that the Hurricane athletics page is posting highlights of the cheer teams stunts… as they should though” – Tulsa

“Please have patience with the Starbucks employees. All of them are new and are probably overwhelmed with how busy it’s been.” – Tulsa

“If you work AND go to school, I’m SO PROUD of you. Juggling school, work, plus your personal life, is the BIGGEST flex. Keep your money as well as your education up.” – Tulsa

“They could have just done another frats but the fact that they did the multicultural one really says something (vomit emoji)” – Tulsa (in response to: “clearly this school is not poc friendly and yall are making this crystal clear w the defacement of the multicultural mural. I KNOW ur mothers would be sooo disappointed in the boys they raised smh” – Tulsa)

I also, of course, had a few posts that deserved way more attention this week. There were so many great posts this week, but here were five of my favorites:

“I’ll complain ab college all day but I’m not leaving without that degree NEVER BACK DOWN NEVER WHAT” – Tulsa

“Everytime i gaf my condition worsens” – Tulsa

“College: the struggle of wanting a six pack, but also wanting a six pack” – Tulsa

“Now that there’s a Starbucks on campus, dating grad students with money is going to become much more important (girl raising hand emoji) (nail painting emoji)” – Tulsa

“Condoms are free in college but printing isnt like bustin a nut is worth more than my assignment” – Tulsa

Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens.

Post Author: Hannah Moua