For the last time this semester, welcome back to The Weekly Yak. It’s going to be a tough few weeks, but at least we finally get our Fall Break. The excitement of student life has decreased dramatically since Homecoming, and we truly are descending into dead week. To be honest, with the amount of sick people on campus, dead week should have started a few weeks ago.
We were truly feeling it this week on the lovely Yik Yak social app, which was full of ranting over stats (as per usual), dogs and DOGS. If I saw my feet on the school’s Snapchat story, and then saw that they were then discussed on Yik Yak, that would become my villain origin story. Meanwhile, we are waiting for academic and athletic reparations from the school that can’t really be fixed with Starbucks, unless they get their gingerbread syrup back in. Some of us are optimistic, and the rest of us will continue to utilize anonymity to complain; I’ve acquired the top 10 complaints of this past week. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks, and ones in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:
“TU FOOTBALL WAS NEVER AND STILL ISNT BACK” – Tulsa
“If you attend TU, you too can get 3 concerts, a Starbucks, Chick-fil-A, and a losing football team. All for the low low price of $60,000 a year (happy emoji)” -Tulsa
“Smart enough to get into college but not smart enough to be in college (sad emoji)” – Tulsa
“The school when theres crime on campus: (blind man walking emoji x10)
The school when I park my car in a lot at a school I pay thousands of dollars to go to: (angry emoji) (police officer emoji) (siren emoji) (knife emoji)” – Tulsa
“Me: *pulls all nighter to finish assignment*
Prof: okay, since a number of you haven’t finished…
Me: Hoe don’t do it
Prof:…i’ll extend the deadline to next week
Me: Oh my god, you son of a [redacted]!” – Tulsa
“Defund the football team and put the money towards scholarships for student who actually make an impact for the school” – Tulsa
“If you cheat on ur partner you are a LOSERRRRRRRRRR” – Tulsa
“Petition to demolish frat row and replace it w a strip mall that has a chuck e cheese inside. The frat boys can simply live there instead!” – Tulsa (in response to “If Brad adds a strip mall he could make campus a regular old town” – Tulsa)
“The whole homecoming painting deal is that it was targeted towards ONE group… it wasn’t accidental” – Tulsa
“It should be illegal to say the homework is 37 questions then make each question have 5-8 parts. JUST SAY THE [redacted] HAS 185+ QUESTIONS (crying emoji)” –
Tulsa
It’s not The Weekly Yak without me adding an additional five posts that deserved more recognition, so here they are:
“I wake up early to regret every decision I’ve ever made” – Tulsa
“Wanting to have hoes but too shy and monogamous to actually get them (single tear emoji)” – Tulsa
“Crying bc i haven’t sat by my friend in weeks in spanish bc my teacher heard him call me ugly (cat crying emoji)” – Tulsa
“Realizing that in college you have to get over your Ls real quick cuz the next one is due at 11:59” – Tulsa
“Tried to booty call a Ksig guy and he said he would come over but he ate too many Cheetos… what” – Tulsa
Finally, I made a promise to a user. Congratulations, you’ve made it on the Weekly Yak:
“I want to be in the weekly yak but don’t have anything funny to say” – Tulsa
Do you want your Yaks to be featured next semester on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens.
