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5 more surprising things that millennials killed
The millennial effect on consumerism over time. Pan-Am reaches new low: the Kim Kardashian level. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

5 more surprising things that millennials killed

on 21 January 201924 January 2019

Millennials are at it again, and you’ll never believe what they killed this time! Every time you look at a…

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Local coffee roaster begins selling breast milk lattes
Posted in State-Run

Local coffee roaster begins selling breast milk lattes

on 21 January 201924 January 2019

A groundbreaking local coffee shop receives praise for its innovative beverage choices. “The nutty notes of oat milk, the thick…

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Presidential election: voting done right — Tinder style
Donald “The Duck Face” Trump on our new electoral swiping system. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

Presidential election: voting done right — Tinder style

on 14 January 201916 January 2019

You’ll never guess why the 2020 race will be more eventful and steamy than previous elections! After 231 years, the…

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10 things to try this government shutdown
As the government falls apart, citizens man battleships, the Statue of Liberty is spray painted and Niagara Falls is full of suds. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

10 things to try this government shutdown

on 14 January 201916 January 2019

With the government closed, laws no longer apply. Take advantage with this list of things you’ve always wanted to do.…

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Campus Crime Watch
Posted in State-Run

Campus Crime Watch

on 14 January 201920 January 2019

Jan. 7 4:20 a.m. University of Tulsa Campus Security Officers were dispatched to the roof of McFarlin Library to deal…

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Ocasio-Cortez caught sinning in newest tweet
Poser Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez dancing at The Wiggles concert. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

Ocasio-Cortez caught sinning in newest tweet

on 14 January 201916 January 2019

This newcomer to the political arena goes viral for all the wrong reasons. How will she recover? Newly elected and…

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Move out of the way Ned, there’s a new survival guide in town.
graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

Move out of the way Ned, there’s a new survival guide in town.

on 14 January 201916 January 2019

College can be a confusing and emotionally-draining experience, especially for a freshman fresh from mommy and daddy’s nest. In the…

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Betsy DeVos ends syllabus day
Posted in State-Run

Betsy DeVos ends syllabus day

on 14 January 201916 January 2019

Our Secretary of Education decided to throw out syllabuses in favor of innovation. Throw away your syllabi. This is America,…

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How to make Thanksgiving dinner the calmest ever
Cousin Shapiro and Grandaddy Sanders having a polite political conversation over mashed potatoes. graphic by Conner Maggio
Posted in State-Run

How to make Thanksgiving dinner the calmest ever

on 12 November 201812 November 2018

Don’t worry about upsetting the relatives again with these hot tips. Fall Break is right around the corner, and with…

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Three midterm madness results
Posted in State-Run

Three midterm madness results

on 12 November 201812 November 2018

Interesting developments in the midterm election results from last week, including a dead candidate winning and a gentlemen’s duel. The…

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