The Bleacher Creature

Pour one out for missed opportunities
Gordon Hayward’s injury during the first quarter of the Celtics’ season opener against the Cavaliers almost made me throw up. Then it almost made me cry. Hayward, his perfectly quaffed undercut gleaming under the bright lights of Quicken Loans Arena, went up for what looked like a spectacular alley-oop from Kyrie Irving before coming down awkwardly on his left ankle. His whole leg buckled, a loud crack echoed throughout the hushed arena and just like that, his season was over. I’m not sad because this ruins any chance of Boston overtaking the Cavs in the East (though it does). This is devastating because the career of one of the most hardworking, exciting and underappreciated players in the league is now in jeopardy. Ankle injuries as severe as Hayward’s are a difficult thing to come back from and even when (if?) he does play again, he’ll likely be short of his trademark explosiveness. Additional condolences to Jeremy Lin, who ruptured the patella tendon in his right knee.

I’m with Houston (eye twitches)
This was tough, I almost didn’t come into work on Sunday following the Yankees’ shellacking at the hands of the Houston Astros. I know what you’re thinking: “4-0? It’s not like it was some embarrassing blowout!” That’s true Devil’s Advocate voice inside my head, except these are the Bronx Bombers we’re talking about, the second most prolific offense in baseball, and they were held to a grand total of one run over their final two games despite all that positive momentum from winning three in a row at Yankee Stadium. Oh and Lance McCullers shut them down by throwing nothing but curveballs, nearly all of which were down and away. Who replaced the Yankees with a bunch of Pedro Cerranos?? Just leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Still, I’ll be rooting for the Astros in the World Series. It’s typically a policy of mine to root for the teams that beat my own so I can say “yeah we lost to those guys, but so did everyone else” (the Red Sox are an obvious exception) but there’s more to it than that this year. Supporting the Dodgers may actually be unethical. Justin Turner is hitting like peak Barry Bonds and is threatening to cement himself as an actual postseason legend. We can’t allow allow that to happen for a balding ginger who insists on wearing his remaining hair shoulder length. Blegh! Clayton Kershaw has said that he would retire if he won the World Series this year because he’s got nothing left to accomplish. Um, don’t do that Clay-bae. What about cementing yourself as the greatest pitcher of all time, isn’t that something?? (He was most likely joking but still). Oh and there’s also the fact that Houston’s had a rough go of it recently. Between their football team’s loss to TU, Chris Paul’s injury and…you know…Harvey, this city needs a win. Go ’Stros!

Matt Rechtien nods proudly
God when did Bleacher Creature get so morbid? What should we close on? How about the Las Vegas Golden Knights! Unlike my predecessor Matt Rechtien I’m not the biggest hockey guy so I won’t be able to provide much in terms of analysis. But you don’t need to be Barry Melrose to know that 6-1 is a damn fine way to start a franchise. Heard the Blues are off to a pretty good start as well!

Post Author: Justin Guglielmetti