The Bleacher Creature

Dyin’ for Zion
If you prefer the talent and sophistication of pro basketball over college, and thus haven’t seen much of the presumptive 2019 number one pick, do yourself a favor and tune into the next Duke game you find on TV.

We all knew that Zion was a one-of-a-kind athlete, a defensive end turned power forward with a baby face and a 45-inch vertical. But we weren’t prepared for his vision in the open floor, his impossible efficiency or his defensive sophistication. Remember when “experts” were saying teammate R.J. Barrett was the most NBA-ready guy in this class? The lesson, as always: nobody knows anything.

Let’s Dispel This Myth…
…that Donald Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing, he knows exactly what he’s doing. I can’t figure out why everyone is so upset about this whole McDonald’s served in the White House thing. After pulling off an upset in the biggest game of your life, wouldn’t you want to fill your body with paper-thin, greasey burgers, limp and tasteless fries and nugs that are at least 37 percent real chicken? They were probably given Happy Meal toys too, and honestly who wouldn’t go for an action figure over a filet mignon? Oh wait, I hate everything I just wrote. At least splurge on some fucking Five Guys.

Post Author: Justin Guglielmetti