The Bleacher Creature

5 April 2017
Justin Guglielmetti, Bleacher Creature

And Your NCAAW Champion Is…
Not UConn? Wow, I did not see that one coming! I can’t exactly call myself an aficionado of women’s college hoops, but I felt pretty safe in projecting the Huskies to repeat as champions for the fifth year running, seeing as they have been one of the most consistently dominant groups in team sports history.

Before their stunning loss to two seed Mississippi State on Friday night, UConn had won an unfathomable 111 games in a row (including 108 by double digits and 61 by 40 points or more) in a streak that stretched all the way back to the 2013-14 season. That’s a long time ago, gang. LeBron was still on the Heat, Donald Trump was still on the “Celebrity Apprentice.” “Glee” was still on TV for God’s sake.

When they played Tulsa earlier this year, I watchedstood in awe from the band section as their entire roster seemed to tower over our centers, then watched them put on an absolute clinic in fundamental basketball that would make the San Antonio Spurs cry tears of joy. As easy as it would be to hate the Huskies for their dominance, it was impossible not to enjoy them from the perspective of a pure basketball fan; it would be like an English major hating Shakespeare.

Don’t shed any tears for UConn. Coach Geno Auriemma was remarkably gracious in defeat as he always is in the rare occasions where it’s necessary, and we should have no doubt that the school’s next big winning streak is just a few months away.

TOP OF THE MORNIN’ TO YA!
What’s that? The Cavaliers are no longer in first place in the Eastern Conference? A certain historically successful, green-clad, best-player-is-5’8” team has taken over the lead? That’s right everybody, strap in because the next Celtics dynasty train departs momentarily!!! Will Boston actually managed to dethrone the Cavs and become the first non-LeBron team to make the Finals since the Big Three-era Celtics in 2010?

Well, my mind’s telling me no… .but my boooddddyyy… .my boooddddddyyyyyy’s tellin’ me yeeeeeeesssss. Any team with a LeBron who is still in his prime (or relatively close to it) has to be the favorite, but Cleveland looks legitimately vulnerable right now. They are dead last in points allowed per 100 possessions after the All-Star break, which doesn’t bode well given the fact that playoff teams tend to be pretty great at putting the ball in the hoop, and their offense has fallen apart as of late when James take a seat. They have a worse record than the Brooklyn Nets over the past month. The Nets! Can you even name a single player on the Nets?

One thing is for sure, the Eastern Conference playoffs are going to be one wild ride, the first time that’s been the case in about half a decade. Oh, one more thing: Even if the Celtics don’t topple Cleveland this year, they can take solace in the fact that they are almost definitely assured a top 3 pick in this year’s draft, which has the most loaded class since the 2003 one that brought us LeBron, Wade, Carmelo and Chris Bosh. Oooooooh baby.

Gettin’ Steamy in Iceland
And finally, ladies and gentleman, Icelandic newspaper Visir recently announced that the island country has experienced a record-breaking birth rate in March, which comes nine months after the nation of 300,000 defeated England 2-1 in the 2016 UEFA Euro tournament. Sex. That is all.