It was difficult to make the Weekly Yak this week because, unfortunately, life on college campuses became so serious that even Yik Yak had something important to say. Glad you guys are capable of speaking up anonymously, but let’s also take that energy with us into our daily interactions and actions. Men, please do the right thing and hold each other accountable.
Besides that one thing, Yik Yak carried on its usual tomfoolery. You guys are seriously questioning whether the coaching staff, who have literally dedicated their careers to football, made the right call with that two-point conversion? It’s giving anti-intellectualism. Hate to break it to you, Joe Shmoe, but Tre Lamb would destroy your fantasy team. It was a good game and The Writer has made the executive decision that football players get to keep their scooters for the week. Strangely enough, the beginning of the current Tulsa Golden Hurricane football success began after the disappearance of the Weekly Yak. Now that it’s back, we’re losing again… coincidence? I think not.
Also found amongst the heavily researched football commentary were several warnings about the towing and ticketing of cars, but somehow nobody complained about the economic implications of increased policing of unregistered cars! Seriously, there’s a financial crisis at this university but we’re spending money moving cars half a block away? I thought Yik Yak was the prime spot for complaining, but you guys really dropped the ball this time. That’s not the only ball you all dropped, Yakkers. The number of mentions of the Weekly Yak this week was zero. ZERO. We were begged to bring this back and you all had nothing to say about it? Shame on you. Do better, else we might just have to disappear and allow our football team to win again. Here are the top Yaks from the week of Sept. 28:
“‘Can you send a writing sample’ no but I can send two years of my highlights from this app”
“gus-t? More like fungus-t”
“can ppl stop sh****** in the bathrooms? Some of us are trying to have a good cry”
“if you’re going to play roblox in class you might as well be good at the game”
“Towing in mcfarlin”
“I wouldn’t say I f*ck with him your honor”
“oui oui yesterday I had coffeé from Pat Case on en empty stomaque and so I had a … how you say.. panique attaque”
“Should’ve been asking Mamdani for touchdowns instead of Netanyahu”
“Any fans of shibari or wanting to practice? Can be platonic”
“can you put community service on your resume if its court ordered?”
If you didn’t make it into the Weekly Yak this edition, don’t fret! The Writer will continue until graduation. Speaking of which, it’s not looking too good. I got a 2/10 on my quiz in my Advanced Couch Coaching class this week. I blame Yik Yak for making me think I know ball.
See you next week. As always, free Palestine.
