Aries: “Who’s gooning to the green m&m,” “lol why does Tucker Carlson even care,” “who tf is attracted to an m&m in shoes,” I WAS GOONING TO THE GREEN M&M!! SHE WAS ALL I HAD, AND NOW SHE’S GONE! THIS IS YOU WOKE COLLEGE STUDENTS’ FAULTS! I LOVED HER! I… I loved her. Taurus: Stay […]
Collegian Music Critic Aiden Hoogstra gives the inside scoop on this year’s artists. A highlight of the year for all students, the Battle of the Bands is a longstanding TU tradition that needs no introduction. Any student reading this knows all the ritual celebrations and legendary stories, from the annual kidnapping of the firstborn to […]
Aries: That’s it, Aries; the stars are fed up with your negative karma. As punishment, at some point in the future, you will bite into a cheetoh which is inexplicably wet – not with any identifiable liquid, just sopping wet and mealy n shi. Worst of all, you can’t know when it happens, just that […]
Aries: The sun is in retrograde. This is not so much an astrological omen as it is a real world physics problem. Basically, we have around twenty four hours before the solar system implodes and the Earth is hurled into the center of a massive planetary collision. TL;DR you no longer need to worry about […]
We saved TU nearly $20 on frivolities like ink and wages” touts Musk in an otherwise unintelligible X post The Department Of Government Efficiency, a Trump administration budget slashing effort headed by world’s wealthiest man and owner of the nation’s most embarrassing hat collection Elon Musk, has been ramping up its quest to remove unnecessary […]
It’s a really good thing we don’t live in Tornado Alley As an Oklahoman native I have seen my fair share of EF1’s EF2’s and even had an EF3 dropped right on my house. In fact, my own Grandmother was sucked up into the sky one dreary night and we found her at River Spirit […]
Inventive Artist and DJ In today’s Student Spotlight, we are covering the prolific University of Tulsa-based musical collective, the Jellyboys, who shocked the world last December with a surprise holiday release titled “Jellymonsters vs. Aliens.” The album surpassed critics’ expectations of the up-and-coming young artist. Even professional music hater, Anthony Fantano, was so moved by […]
Aries: I hear hurricanes blowing, I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers overflowing; I hear the voice of rage and ruin. Do not go around tonight, for it’s bound to take your life – there’s a bad moon on the rise. Alright. Taurus: I foresee two possible timelines this week: one where […]
Valentine’s Day was originally the Catholic feast day for St. Valentine who was a man who was either a priest or a bishop. To be honest it doesn’t really matter because both professions require you to be single. How in the world did a holiday about a famously single guy become a holiday all about […]
As many of you are aware, the Hurricane Market (also known as C-Store, Convenience-S and “Store where everything is free”) recently closed, and while there has been a wave of questioning on why it might have closed, the true reason behind the shutdown will be revealed by yours truly, as I am here to speak […]