Name: Emily “that girl over there” Every
Major(s): English, environmental policy, a minor in economics
How do you take your coffee? As quickly as possible because I hate the taste but am addicted to caffeine.
Most recommended album? Hmm … Listen to Leonard Cohen’s first album. I guess that’s more of a demand than a recommendation, but there you go.
Favorite books/movies? “Sphinx” by Anne Garreta has been my favorite for years — it’s a literary fiction about a theology student who drops out to become a Parisian DJ. Super good, super short. “The Shining” is probably my favorite movie? It’s the one I have the urge to rewatch the most frequently, at least.
Where can people usually find you on campus? This sounds like such a silly plug, but I do spend a lot of time at the Collegian office (Oliphant 110). Drop by if you ever want to witness the ugliest couches known to man.
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? Monster Truck.
What will people say at your funeral? “She went out doing what she loves … running into house fires.”
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Categorically? No. Philosophically? Also no.
Favorite spice? Lemonpepper does so much for us. It’s finally time we say thank you.
Social Media? My twitter is @mleevery if you want to see me say nothing with as many words as possible.
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? Wear a mask! I’m sorry that your first year at college is like, well, this, but try to make as much of it as you can. Go to as many club meetings/events as you can stomach. Friends come from unexpected places, so be open to new experiences (like maybe writing for the school paper?). Oh, and go to class.
Name: Sara Serrano
Position: Managing Editor
Major(s): mechanical engineering
How do you take your coffee? Iced, sweet and decaffeinated, like me.
Most recommended album? Idk, “The Black Parade”? It’s one everyone should listen to at least once.
Favorite Books/Movies? “Good Omens”
Where can people usually find you on campus? All my courses are online this semester, so my apartment, I guess. Please don’t show up unannounced unless you have snacks to share.
What is the funniest pet name you can think of? Roberto.
What will people say at your funeral? Bold of you to assume I’m going to die.
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Please rethink your life choices.
Favorite Spice? Cinnamon 🙂
Social Media? Check me out on Insta at @yt_andromeda and @seed_and_stitch.
Any Advice to this year’s freshmen? Things are going to get hectic, especially this year. Just breathe and smile your way through.
Name: Piper Prolago
Position: News Editor
Major(s): art history & anthropology
How do you take your coffee? As soon as possible in the morning.
Most recommended album? “The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill.” The woman doesn’t miss.
Favorite books/movies? Last year, when answering this, I said my favorite book was “Americanah” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I’d like to say I’ve changed, but that’s not really true. I’m not sure what my favorite movie is, but I just watched “Guava Island” and “The Last Black Man in San Francisco,” and both were phenomenal.
Where can people usually find you on campus? In my apartment … it’s a pandemic.
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? My cat’s name is Wu-Tang, which was the funniest name I could think of.
What will people say at your funeral? I’m not just giving out ideas for my eulogy. Say something original or just don’t bother showing up.
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Absolutely not.
Favorite spice? Is cilantro a spice or an herb? Where’s the line there?
Social Media? @pipercp168
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? Wear a mask, never pass on an opportunity to nap and try to read things that aren’t just for classes.
Name: Justin Klopfer
Position: Commentary Editor
Major(s): computer science
How do you take your coffee? Black
Most recommended album? “Deathconsciousness” by Have A Nice Life
Favorite books/movies? For books, I really like Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History of the United States” and any American political history. I also love novels, especially American authors like Melville and Faulkner. For movies, anything put out by Criterion is great, especially the long and boring ones.
Where can people usually find you on campus? It used to be the library, but now just my apartment I guess …
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? Justin
What will people say at your funeral? Nice things, I hope.
Is a hotdog a sandwich? No
Favorite spice? Paprika
Social Media? Don’t really use it
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? Go to class, try to make a lot of friends (even though it’s very hard this year), and find something fulfilling to do with all your free time (you have a lot more than you did in high school). Don’t be afraid to try new hobbies/interests. College probably gives you the most freedom you’ll have in your life, so use it.
Name: Myranda New
Position: Variety Editor
Major(s): mechanical engineering (with a minor in math)
How do you take your coffee? With a lot of sugar, caramel or chocolate … and as little coffee taste as possible, preferably frappuccinos
Most recommended album? Halsey’s Badlands album … she is my all time favorite musician! All of her albums are beautiful, but Badlands is a life changer
Favorite books/movies? “The Outsiders” by S.E.Hinton is my favorite book and honestly my favorite movie too. I watched the movie half a dozen times just in quarantine, but have been reading the book and watching the movie since middle school. There’s something so captivating about how human it is, and you can identify with little aspects of so many of the characters
Where can people usually find you on campus? I am always at some point in the day on the steps in front of McFarlin Library looking at the skyline. You should stop there and watch the sunsets; you’ll never regret it
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? Herman
What will people say at your funeral? I’d like to hope that people will say I touched their lives and brought some positivity to them when they needed it the most
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Is it a sandwich? Or, perhaps, is it a taco?
Favorite spice? Cinnamon
Social Media? @myranda_new on instagram
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? Sit with a new group of people for every meal. While this is harder to follow during a pandemic, the fastest way that I met new people was walking up to a crowded table during a meal, asking if there was a free seat, and talking with them for the next half hour or so. Even if you aren’t friends with every person you sit down with, it really helps you cement familiar faces on campus. Also, try to get eight hours of sleep, try to join at least two clubs and keep a to do list so you never forget your homework!
Name: Anna Johns
Position: Satire Editor
Major(s): English, history, French
How do you take your coffee? Lots of sugar. Good amount of heavy whipping cream. Two tablespoons of smexy (smart and sexy).
Most recommended album? “Pony” by Orville Peck. Please. Try it. Please.
Favorite Books/Movies? Uh, after watching (and reading) “Brokeback Mountain,” I sobbed for an hour. I cried so hard I started hyperventilating, so there’s that. Oh, and if you like fun, “Rocketman” is one of my favorite movies ever because I have eyes and ears, and I love a good Elton John musical flick. I did cry during this one too. Also, I really like “Blade Runner 2049,” and — you guessed it, baby — I cried during and after seeing it in the theater.
Where can people usually find you on campus? B.C. (Before COVID), you could probably find me in the library. I am now relocated to the sewers of campus. You can come greet me and maybe say hi to your mom. Yeah, uh, she’s here.
What is the funniest pet name you can think of? Gleb. Garblin. Greg. I can keep rolling.
What will people say at your funeral? “She died doing what she loved: longingly finger-painting a hyper realistic portrait of Hammy from ‘Over the Hedge.’”
Is a hotdog a sandwich? I mean, there really isn’t a hot dog standalone classification, is there? Would a corndog be a sandwich? Instead, let me ask another question. If your dad and dog switched bodies, would you pet your dog in your dad’s body or your dad in your dog’s body? Let me know. The pigeon (and post-office, I guess) will already be trained to know my location.
Favorite Spice? Okay, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for. I love, love, love Slap Ya Mama. It’s a Cajun spice, and I put it on everything because I am a disgusting little creature with permanently greasy fingers.
Social Media? @annajohns_ on Instagram. I’m featured sometimes on my mom’s Facebook posts if you’re into that.
Any Advice to this year’s freshmen? Get to know your professors. Go to their office hours. It seems really weird, but a lot of professors are really cool! Just getting to know them may mean a granted extension on an essay or some other help later down the road.
Name: Zach Short
Position: Sports Editor
Major(s): political science, English (at least a minor, unsure rn)
How do you take your coffee? Either black or lots of cream; no in between
Most recommended album? “Gilded Palace of Sin” by The Flying Burrito Brothers, “Ballads I” by Joji
Favorite Books/Movies? Right now I’d have to say “Goodfellas” and “Crime and Punishment,” but ask me again in a month and it’ll be different.
Where can people usually find you on campus? My apartment or the library (but probably my apartment almost exclusively now because of distancing); I don’t get out much.
What is the funniest pet name you can think of? Gilbert. I’m sorry if you or someone you know is a Gilbert, not trying to offend anyone with this.
What will people say at your funeral? “This is the first time I’ve eaten dinner at a funeral but I’m not complaining. Still can’t believe he put that in the will, though.”
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Hotdogs are tacos.
Favorite Spice? I like throwing in cayenne but I feel like I consume more cumin than I realize.
Social Media? @westbrookfan831 on Twitter. Used to be @okcfan831 but Westbrook went to Houston. Yes, there’s a Twitter thread to define this change. My other socials aren’t nearly as spicy.
Any Advice to this year’s freshmen? Physically distance yourself. Party and make tons of friends next year, otherwise you’ll get yourself, me and everyone else sent home early.
Name: Emma Palmer
Position: Graphics Editor
Major(s): English, creative writing, art
How do you take your coffee? Iced, preferably. Other than that no big stipulations.
Most recommended album? I’m not sure, changes pretty often. I was really into “RTJ4” recently.
Favorite books/movies? Some favorite directors are Mike Flanagan, Jeremy Saulnier and Macon Blair. Book-wise, I really like Toni Morrison’s work and “As I Lay Dying.” Gonna also cheat and say I finally watched “Breaking Bad” during quarantine and haven’t been able to watch TV since.
Where can people usually find you on campus? In my bed or just, like, walking on campus.
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? Anything you would name a human person.
What will people say at your funeral? Hopefully nothing too mean.
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Naw. But a burger might be.
Favorite spice? Coriander.
Social Media? @thisemmapalmer on most platforms.
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? Wear a mask and find a hobby. Make sure to lay down on those weird column thingies by McFarlin and look at the night sky at least once.
Name: Karelia Alexander
Position: Social Media/ Web Manager
Major(s): piano performance with a minor in French
How do you take your coffee? I actually don’t drink coffee … but I love juice!
Most recommended album? I can’t decide, so instead I am just going to recommend listening to all the albums from Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin,Queens of the Stone Age and Candle Box. If you need any suggestions on what to listen to, just ask me!
Both the movie and the book:
“The Graduate” (1967)
“Butterflies are Free” (1975)
“True Romance” (1993)
“Bobby” (2006). It’s about Robert F. Kennedy’s final day before his death.
“Almost Famous” (2000)
“Dazed and Confused” (1993)
“Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage” (2010) This is a fantastic music documentary about one of the greatest progressive rock bands.
“A Room with a View” by E.M. Forster
“Boom!” by Tom Browkaw
“STP: A Journey Around America with the Rolling Stones” by Robert Greenfield
“Vampires in the Lemon Grove” by Karen Russell
Where can people usually find you on campus? In a practice room at the LPC. Music is my everything.
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? Crusher when they clearly look like they should be named Oatmeal or Pudding.
What will people say at your funeral? “She really made a difference in my life. Wish she was still here.”
Is a hotdog a sandwich? It depends. To me it doesn’t matter because I get to smother it in ketchup.
Favorite spice? Paprika, Cinnamon and Old Spice.
Social Media? None.
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? Your freshman year is going to be hard, but know that you are here at TU for a reason. Keep persevering and seek every opportunity and challenge that comes your way. Keep moving forward. I believe in you.
Name: Hana Saad
Position: Copy Editor
Major(s): English and Media Studies
How do you take your coffee? Iced, with a splash of oat or coconut milk. Yes.
Most recommended album? “Love Yourself: Answer” because it will make you fall in love with BTS and that will be one of the best decisions you’ll make.
Favorite books/movies? Ugh, this is really hard but a few that come to mind are “An Ember in the Ashes” by Sabaa Tahir, “Ariel” by Sylvia Plath and “Vicious” by V.E. Schwab.
Where can people usually find you on campus? The reading rooms at McFarlin Library used to be my second home, but we’ll see where I end up this semester.
What’s the funniest name you can think of for a pet? Stinky
What will people say at your funeral? No clue. Your guess is as good as mine.
Is a hotdog a sandwich? Nah.
Favorite spice? Sumac but za’atar is a close second. Depends on the time of year, I guess.
Social Media? @hanaxsaad
Any advice to this year’s freshmen? You’re going to have hard days, but keep going. Drink water, give yourself time to rest and get a good night’s sleep. Try to talk to new people! And don’t forget to wear that mask.
Name: Mary Bergwell
Position: Business Manager
How do you take your coffee? Honestly, I love coffee in all forms, but when I die you will most likely have to pry a cold-brew from my cold, previously shaking hands.
Most recommended album? “Church of Scars” by Bishop Briggs, “Every Where is Some Where” by K.flay, “Cheap Queen” by King Princess, “Melodrama” by Lorde and “The Suburbs” by Arcade Fire are all in my top list of albums because they shaped my college years, so basically it’s a five-way tie.
Favorite Books/Movies? I love anything written by Simon Rich, “Trixie and Katya’s Guide to Modern Womanhood” by Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova is my newest favorite book, and “The Secret Garden” is a childhood classic. The best movie ever made was “Labyrinth” (1986) starring David Bowie.
Where can people usually find you on campus? My apartment or Dr. Iyer’s Research Lab in Keplinger Hall.
What is the funniest pet name you can think of? My sister and her husband got a cat when they got married and named it Stevara as a mixture of “Steve” and “Sarah” lol.
What will people say at your funeral? “Bruh, can you believe a vending machine fell on her?”
Is a hotdog a sandwich? I think the more pressing question is whether or not ketchup is a smoothie.
Favorite Spice? Scary Spice, also garlic salt and cayenne pepper
Social Media? @typhoidmaryvoid on twitter
Any Advice to this year’s freshmen? Wear a mask! Follow CDC guidelines! Vote in this year’s election! Become friends with upperclassmen in addition to other freshmen — nearly all of my best friends are a year or two older than me — they give great advice!