No Place for Racism in All White Fraternity

As with every SAE chapter, I had high expectations for OU’s SAE chapter, a chapter that according to one source has not had a single African-American member in the last decade. Every SAE chapter is a family. The OU SAE was a family whose only black member was its hired chef. I expect these young […]

Gabriel Garcia Marquez covers lunch at TU, sees some shit

When Conor Fellin was on his deathbed many years later, he would remember the day the phantoms came to ACAC. Conor was at the back of the Benvenuto’s line, a long line even by the restaurant’s standards. He yearned for the sticky feel of a cream-embalmed noodle slipping down his throat, and as he waited […]

Van Lux takes impressionism to new heights

It seems as if TU’s campus has been blessed with a new titan of the art world in the form of Vinny Van Lux (pronounced van-lou (no relation, I promise)). Van Lux, a sophomore petroleum engineering major, has been receiving critical acclaim from such places as the Internet and his mother, for his newest, and […]

Men’s Rights Activist crafts masculine response to Vagina Monologues

In response to Friday’s performance of “The Vagina Monologues,” Gregory Hawthorne III has since written, produced, performed and reviewed his new work, “The Manginalogues.” Hawthorne, who goes by “Trilby” in certain circles, mostly on the internet, was shocked when he went to the performance of “The Vagina Monologues” and noticed that it exclusively portrays women’s […]

Human Sexuality class much less exciting than you would think

Sources confirmed last Thursday that SOC 2125, Sociology of Human Sexuality, is much less exciting than one would think. “I showed up on the first day thinking it would be my favorite class,” said Walter Smits, one of the students enrolled in the course. “Turns out we’re just learning about people’s attitudes toward sex and […]

Announcement: Racism over

This week, I was doing some casual data mining to check up on the loyal citizens of the State-Run Media, and I realized something strange. It seems that Racism is over. I know, I was super surprised too. But the evidence is too overwhelming to ignore. In 2013, black men made only 73 cents for […]

Texas annexes Oklahoma Panhandle, claims to protect ethnic Texans

Monday saw Texas Governor Rick Perry announce the annexation of the Oklahoma Panhandle. “In our hearts, we know that the Panhandle has always been an inalienable part of Texas,” he said, emphasizing that the most populous of the three counties that make up the Panhandle is even named after Texas. The annexation is the culmination […]

TU hipsters migrate to more obscure ORU

A strange transition has been underway these past few weeks at the University of Tulsa. As the story about the TU Administration’s totally justified actions to suppress free speech has been picked up by national news outlets, a certain subset of the TU student population has been disappearing. Hipsters, defined by their plaid shirts and […]

Sci-Fi fan fails physics

Sci-fi fan Mal Jayne was surprised last semester after continuously receiving poor grades in his Physics I course. Jayne, who picked up the syllabus on the first day of class and didn’t go to class again until the first test, felt confident in his ability to do well. He had read everything: from H.G. Wells […]