This week’s weekly email from TU attempts to tackle breakups and shares healthy ways for students to overcome heartache and…
Horoscopes
Read your horoscope from State-Run Aries — Ma called asking for you again. Her typically honeyed tone was noticeably somber…
Freshman horror story: assigned roommate is thirteenth-century monk
Incoming freshman learns to adapt to the self-flaggelating medieval man sleeping on the other bunk. The beginning of this fall…
Texas rewards $10,000 to citizens who report “loose” women
Everything is bigger in Texas, including slut-shaming. The highly controversial Texas abortion law has banned abortions after six weeks and…
Fuck Tinder. I’m off to the Bog.
After years of mindlessly swiping and scrolling through dating apps, I have surely seen the talent pool this side of…
Ever Given releases apology video for being stuck in the Suez Canal
On Wednesday, disaster in the world of international trading struck: one of the largest container ships in the world (and…
Oh, Phew: TikTok cult assures audience they are not a cult
For the past few weeks, TikTok has been oversaturated with posts revolving around a Kentucky commune: brandished Eden, the self-sustaining…
Big News: Sunlight Cures Depression
Ladies and gents, I have reached a most stunning conclusion this past weekend: depression does not exist! I stepped outside…
Hurricane Spotlight: here are the impious, rowdy trolls who guard McFarlin from COVID-19
With vaccinations rising and cases of COVID-19 falling, commuter and on-campus students alike feel more comfortable hanging around campus; with…
So Scary: TU has been besieged TU finds itself in shambles in the by Ancient Rome!
The week was shaping up to be quiet for TU; midterms were on the mind, weather was in flux and…