Donald Trump’s campaign abruptly ended when it was discovered that the man, Donald Trump, does not even exist, but is…
Martian water stolen from California
New discoveries have pointed to the startling realization that Mars is stealing all of California’s water. Harold Oodmar, local water…
Faculty invents “super alcohol,” professors miss classes
In recent weeks it has become apparent that the chemistry department at TU knows how to party, but maybe a…
Wal-Mart and Target re-ignite war over Christmas decorations
Tensions have been escalating between two global superpowers, Target and Wal-Mart, throughout the ongoing “Christmas Tree Crisis.” Conflict on the…
Removal of Ten Commandments monument causes state-wide panic
Fallout has been severe following the removal of the Ten Commandments from Oklahoma’s State Capitol. In the past week, there…
Study abroad awakens love of learning in student
When junior Elizabeth Brown went to Ireland this semester, her friends at TU were expecting to be overwhelmed by travel…
Man-eating plants take over campus
The university received a shock last week when reports of giant, man-eating plants swept the campus. Amidst the confusion, writers…
TU’s giant “T” breaks world record for most boring world record
After it was announced that TU students broke the record for the largest letter formed out of human bodies, Guinness…
Professors swap subjects, classes more enjoyable
TU student Margaret Skinner approached The State-Run Media last week after noticing that something seemed a bit off about her…
The State-Run Media’s top five alternative grading scales
Entropic: If you really want to follow the laws of thermodynamics in your classroom, this is the way to go.…