Banning guns is out of the question, so obviously we should ban any and all targets. Congress, in its ultimate…
White Claw Hard Seltzer shortage explained
There ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws, but what if there are no claws left? Breaking news: there is…
Horoscopes
Gather round, ye olde Pagans! As Taurus enters Uranus (or is that the other way around … I’m new at…
Chick-fil-A supports “Strait Pride”
The highly anticipated new Chick-fil-A sauce has been released, but not without its opponents. In a mostly welcomed surprise, Chick-fil-A…
Smoking healthy alternative to vaping
With new information emerging about vaping dangers, it’s time to return to the original cancer causer. With all the buzz…
Streaming service market remains unsaturated
You know what we really need? More subscription-based media services! Apple now has a streaming service called Apple TV+. Since…
Gen Z Knocks Down the Doorbell Industry
In yet another malicious effort, the Youths have replaced ringing doorbells with the barbaric practice of texting “here.” They’ve done…
ConnectTU: Big Brother or your new best friend?
Don’t listen to the critics: the ConnectTU app is a godsend in convenience. Since orientation week, the University of Tulsa…
Golden Hurricane loses game 28-7: TU fans rejoice!
Underdog Tulsa beats the odds and only loses football game by 21 points! The Tulsa Golden Hurricanes kicked off their…
Black hole manifests in US West washing machine
Maintenance called to repair a singularity that materialized in a TU student apartment. At approximately 0300 hours on Sunday, Sept.…