A club of square and sushi-loving cats are the true puppeteers of TU’s day-to-day operations, according to Wilson Mann. To…
Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class
TU undesirable used a recent update to the Google Arts & Culture app, which matches their face to a famous…
Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them
The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award. In light…
Super blue blood moon rituals discovered
Researchers detail ancient blood moon rituals completed by past cultures. Anthropologists have discovered images depicted in ancient Mayan temples, and…
New TU weekly email greeted with excitement
Most rejoice but some complain as TU launches new weekly email “A Look at TU Last Week.” A video released…
Tide launches adult-proof packaging
With written and verbal warnings not being an adequate deterrent for curious nibblers, Tide Pods now test mental fitness before…
N64 controller on parole after 20 years
After its landmark conviction and 20 year sentence, the N64 controller reflects on what it means to be a game…
1893 calculator runs DOOM (1993)
TU CS major Anthony Felt spent all of last finals week modifying an old mechanical calculator to run everyone’s favorite…
Blue emergency phones upgraded, now play 20 minutes of Kenny G
State-Run readers will be pleased to hear that much-needed changes have been made to the blue light emergency phones around…
How to drink a copious amount of alcohol without people thinking you’re an alcoholic
Senior State-Run writer Sam Beckmann shares his tips for hiding your alcoholism behind an air of sophistication and pretension. It’s…