Bourbon Apple-rita 2 apples, diced 1 cup sugar 1 tbsp ground cinnamon 1 tsp ground cloves 1 oz lime juice…
17 ways to technically honor “new year, new me”
1. Do more than half of load of laundry every 2 weeks. 2. Just say no to the homeless person…
Top 10 budget items TU has cut
1. Christmas lights. This is the big one. One of the University’s largest expenses each year are the few strings…
“OMG, we’re such adults,” says student while hiding body
Reports indicate that on Thursday, a local student realized that she was like, totally an adult now, while hiding a…
Cross country races at Regionals, takes second and sixth
The men’s and women’s cross country team competed in the NCAA Midwest Regional Championships on Friday afternoon. The men’s team…
How to get SA funding: a practical guide for treasurers
The first step to get money for your club back from SA is to be in a club. That requires…
How to not accept the results of the election
1. “Nah man, that’s some shit” 2. “Damnit, I’m moving to [insert country here]. They have [insert government policy or…
Campus coffee shops rated by poetry written there
With the recent addition of a Starbucks, there are now three places on campus to buy coffee, discounting the Caf,…
Letter from the Propagandist: Endorsement of Trump
As avid readers of our paper will know, the State-Run Media has never endorsed a candidate before. At least, after…
Why isn’t the FBI investigating us?
In July, the FBI announced it had finished its investigation and would recommend no charges against Clinton for her use…