TU has come under a lot of fire recently for funding issues. After a large number of employees were let go and staff retirement and disability funding were cut, some have said that funding in many areas should be cut. While that may be true, there’s one area where funding shouldn’t be cut, and should actually be increased – student journalism.
Some of you may be suspicious of this suggestion. After all, as the Chief Propagandist of the State-Run Media, I’m a direct recipient of funding earmarked for student journalism. The truth is, it takes someone close to the problem to see it, and from my vantage point in my gold-plated tower, I can definitely see that we could use some more money.
It’s not just a lack of funds; there are also problems with how purchases are reimbursed. Last week, it was important that we get a small amount of cocaine, for journalism reasons. Unfortunately, the university refuses to refund purchases without receipts, and our dealer refused to provide us with proof of purchase. How can we be expected to report on current events under these conditions?
Despite our minimal funding, we’ve been able to do some stellar journalism. A couple issues ago, a writer wrote an excellent review of a restaurant in downtown Tulsa. Unfortunately, university funds could only cover a couple hundred dollars worth of food, so the writer was only able to review a couple of courses. How can we be a respected university if our journalism needs to be subject to such arbitrary constraints?
Now, it’s true that there are some rumors about the State-Run Media misusing university funds. You may have heard far-fetched stories about State-Run editors using funds to purchase luxury items like watches, jewelry, and even automobiles. Tragically, any documents related to the purchase of my Rolls-Royce were destroyed in a recent mysterious fire in McClure Hall, so any accusations of impropriety can’t be proven.
Journalism is important on every campus. How would you stay informed if journalists didn’t inform you of important events taking place? In turn, how can journalists do their jobs without access to advanced training, cutting-edge equipment, and lavish parties that come straight out of the university’s budget? I’m sure that you’ll agree with me when I say that all restrictions on student journalism funding should be lifted.