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The State-Run Media

758 posts
Phyllis Schlafly backs Bernie Sanders just to be contrary
Posted in The State-Run Media

Phyllis Schlafly backs Bernie Sanders just to be contrary

on 22 February 2016

In response to feminist icon Gloria Steinem’s recent show of support for Hillary Clinton, notable anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly found herself…

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Super-villain claims sole responsibility for global warming
Posted in The State-Run Media

Super-villain claims sole responsibility for global warming

on 22 February 2016

Last Tuesday, in an event that shocked the world, a self-proclaimed “super-villain” floated down from his sky base to make…

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Literally everyone but you had a fantastic Valentine’s Day
Posted in The State-Run Media

Literally everyone but you had a fantastic Valentine’s Day

on 17 February 2016

Once again the anniversary of some dude dying has come and gone. Hallmark and Ghirardelli are sitting nicely on the…

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Potential graduates to do battle in gladiator-style arena
Posted in The State-Run Media

Potential graduates to do battle in gladiator-style arena

on 17 February 2016

For years the University of Tulsa has maintained a troublesome secret graduation requirement: survive. The existence of this requirement, called…

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President raises tuition from yacht
Posted in The State-Run Media

President raises tuition from yacht

on 10 February 2016

President Upham, who has had a total annual compensation of over one million dollars since at least 2008, recently announced…

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Clinton/Sanders tie proves your opinion doesn’t matter
Posted in The State-Run Media

Clinton/Sanders tie proves your opinion doesn’t matter

on 10 February 2016

As anyone who has at least a remote interest in the future of this country knows, last Monday the Democratic…

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State-Run Media Mad-Libs
Posted in The State-Run Media

State-Run Media Mad-Libs

on 10 February 201610 February 2016

_______________ introduces new ____________ -ridden mattresses The price of _______ makes up a large amount of both _______ and ______…

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Lawmakers introduce very similar bills in long-standing one-upmanship contest
Posted in The State-Run Media

Lawmakers introduce very similar bills in long-standing one-upmanship contest

on 1 February 2016

Last week in an unprecedented turn of events, two Oklahoma representatives proposed nearly identical bills, refusing to compromise one for…

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The State-Run Media reviews: Monday Collegian meetings
Posted in The State-Run Media

The State-Run Media reviews: Monday Collegian meetings

on 1 February 2016

I recently attended the weekly Collegian meeting, which takes place at 5 p.m. in Oliphant hall every Monday, to bring…

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Letter from the Propagandist
Posted in The State-Run Media

Letter from the Propagandist

on 27 January 2016

Has anyone ever noticed how scary Oliphant is when the lights are out? Maybe it’s because I’m being held here…

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