1. Closes down all food options over the weekend except for SubWay. Because, of course, students should always Eat Fresh™.
2. Continually increases tuition costs. They also make sure that when they do this they have already successfully nurtured a general atmosphere of apathy within the student populace so they won’t raise any complaints.
3. Uses a majority of its resources on grounds upkeeping. It raises morale and pride in one’s university, or something? But it definitely makes alumni more likely to donate large sums of money when their alma mater has freshly cut grass.
4. Expels students for arbitrary reasons. They also make sure to demonize these students and deter their attempts to pursue a fair and proper trial, too.
5. Spends lots and lots of money on athletics to the detriment of academics. Alumni love a big sports center.
