NBA deadline comes and goes

Coming into Thursday’s NBA Trade deadline, speculations and rumors were circulating around many big-time players that could possibly be on the move. Guys like Al Horford, Kevin Love, Hassan Whiteside, Dwight Howard and even Carmelo Anthony could be traded around to a contenders. Well a grand total of zero of those guys were traded and […]

Men’s team adds two more wins to NCAA resume

Tulsa looked to avenge a loss at Cincinnati earlier in the season when the Bearcats visited Tulsa. In the first half, the Bearcats took control. They led throughout, though they couldn’t pull away for a commanding lead. The Golden Hurricane struggled shooting early on, but managed to stay in the game. When James Woodard scored […]

Tanking doesn’t hurt sports

A few weeks ago I wrote an editorial decrying the boring and pointless nature of All-Star games as undermining the true spirit of sports: competition. And yet now I am about to defend something which many pundits view as a far more pressing threat to the integrity of sports, a practice that they say turns […]

Take me out to Spring Training

Roger Hornsby, one of baseball’s greats, once said, “People ask me what I do in winter when there’s no baseball. I’ll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” After what seemed like forever, which for me has been since Oct 13, when the Cardinals were knocked out by […]

Gays cause earthquakes

I’ve been hearing some talk recently that the recent increase in the number of earthquakes in Oklahoma is because of fracking by oil companies. I don’t see any reason that injecting water, sand and chemicals at high pressures into rock could ever be related to earthquakes in any way. That makes no sense, and I’m […]

Earthquakes are a result of pre-marital fracking

There’s no doubt that Oklahoma’s rising earthquake frequency is a sign from God, but there are many different opinions on the cause. The scientific community believes it has found an answer for the epidemic. Research has shown that the rate and intensity of earthquakes increased substantially as the practice of fracking rose to prominence in […]

Bike thief extraordinaire unveils master plan

You probably aren’t reading this story from your bike. Not for the obvious reason that it’s dangerous—we all know you like to live dangerously—but because your bike has been stolen! Hundreds of students have been in a similar scenario, unable to enjoy the finer points of cyclist life. There are many possible explanations for this […]

Phyllis Schlafly backs Bernie Sanders just to be contrary

In response to feminist icon Gloria Steinem’s recent show of support for Hillary Clinton, notable anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly found herself reflexively supporting Bernie Sanders in the Democratic Primary. “We’re really not sure how it happened,” an aide to Schlafly told State-Run reporters. “The day she heard that Steinem was supporting Clinton, Phyllis bought a ‘Feel […]

Super-villain claims sole responsibility for global warming

Last Tuesday, in an event that shocked the world, a self-proclaimed “super-villain” floated down from his sky base to make the announcement that he is the sole cause of global warming. In his two-hour spiel, most of which consisted of histrionics and ornate hand gestures, the villain proclaimed to he was solely responsible for global […]