Horoscopes

Now that you’re a semester into the year and fresh off the high of failing all your finals, you’re probably wondering why you’re still in your major. We at The State Run Media have found a solution! Make smarter decisions in 2020 and choose a new major based on your zodiac sign. Aries — Marketing […]

Clancy sought to stack the vote with his dark magic. graphic by Emma Palmer

Gerard Clancy and Rattus rattus

Intrepid journalist Anna Johns and Adam Walsh (the other one) uncover the cheesy truth behind the no confidence vote last Thursday. Upon last week’s discovery of Doctor Geronimo Clancy using hangman chalkings to steal his students’ souls, possessed by the Great Old One Azathoth, we, the intrepid duo of Anna Johns and the other one, […]

We know it’s only November: leave us alone. graphic by Emma Palmer

Christmas gift tips for all your relatives

For all those tricky family members you’ve never actually met. As the semester winds down and the holiday music in malls ramps up, Christmas shopping lists (and prices) are starting to be tallied. Besides the normal gifts (socks for grandpa, gift card for Aunt Susan, etc.), your parents have probably started to dictate some additional […]

One grande latte, hold the bureaucracy

A simple question leaves me cutting through a jungle of red tape. I’m nearly there, dear reader. Answers are hard to come by in this present climate. I never expected this journey to be easy, but I also never thought I’d change so much along the way. Monday morning. The McFarlin cafe. Two dollars and […]

Emos endure TikTok e-boy invasion

A factionalized emo group is tested by a new age of alt kids. Located in Nebraska, the Cult of Unbelievers inspires a dwindling punk pop, self-proclaimed emo fanbase with a simple message: we’ll carry on. Members are clad in Hot Topic band merchandise with striped long-sleeves and chipped black nails. It’s a union, the group […]

Up from the witch’s brew came the Golden Hurricane. graphic by Emma Palmer

Where has all the money gone?

The answer might surprise you. On Wednesday, Oct. 16, economics professor Dr. Matthew Hendricks gave a presentation comparing TU’s allocation of funds to that of other colleges and universities. Many students I have talked to have praised Hendricks for his great use of graphs and straightforward explanation of our money usage. One student even said, […]