TU run by secret society of campus cats

A club of square and sushi-loving cats are the true puppeteers of TU’s day-to-day operations, according to Wilson Mann. To most, the cats that roam the University of Tulsa are a cute and welcome sight, or at the very least a small reprieve from the mundanity of existence. But to one student, these cats are […]

Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class

TU undesirable used a recent update to the Google Arts & Culture app, which matches their face to a famous painting, and it ended as well as you’d expect. Yet again, Silicon Valley has slighted me. In many cases, being compared to a work of art is flattering. However, when Google tells me my selfie […]

Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them

The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award. In light of Bruno Mars picking up a completely deserved six Grammys last week, the world needs to know a few more recent awards Mars has received. For example, many would argue that he was even more […]

Super blue blood moon not even in its final form. Graphic by Adam Lux

Super blue blood moon rituals discovered

Researchers detail ancient blood moon rituals completed by past cultures. Anthropologists have discovered images depicted in ancient Mayan temples, and as everyone knows, the Mayans knew everything about space and the future. The images depicted several ways in which the moon had transformed based on completing very specific rituals during the super blue blood moon. […]

New TU weekly email greeted with excitement

Most rejoice but some complain as TU launches new weekly email “A Look at TU Last Week.” A video released and obtained by The State-Run Media last weekend shows TU football players chanting, “New! Email! New! Email! New email!” The clip, while brief, sums up the state the university was in after the news broke. […]

Tide launches adult-proof packaging

With written and verbal warnings not being an adequate deterrent for curious nibblers, Tide Pods now test mental fitness before use. In response to multiple injuries and deaths associated with people attempting to eat their Tide Pods product for reasons ranging from satiating a primal urge to gaining internet fame, Procter & Gamble has now […]

Photo of the calculator after Felt installed some of his upgrades. Graphic by Madeline Woods

1893 calculator runs DOOM (1993)

TU CS major Anthony Felt spent all of last finals week modifying an old mechanical calculator to run everyone’s favorite classic game. Local TU sophomore Anthony Felt, who had previously installed “DOOM” on an electric tea kettle, has recently made headlines by getting a calculator from 1893 to run “DOOM.” Witnesses say that they noticed […]

Photo of a blue light after the disco ball upgrades. Graphic by Madeline Woods

Blue emergency phones upgraded, now play 20 minutes of Kenny G

State-Run readers will be pleased to hear that much-needed changes have been made to the blue light emergency phones around campus. In recent months, TU students have expressed certain complaints about the blue emergency phones, which appeared to not be working as well as they should have been. Sophomore Kevin Green had a major grievance […]