Artist’s rendition of GWB’s rendition of the Obamas’ portrait. Graphic by Michaela Flonard

5 reasons George W. Bush should have done the Obamas’ portraits

With controversy over the Obamas’ official portraits, it is clear that the portraits should have been painted by a more presidential painter. 1. George W. Bush has nothing else to do. Let’s be honest: George has run out of things to do. It’s not like he has the power to start a war or benefit […]

God ensuring Earth’s thermostat is at the right temperature. Graphic by Conner Maggio

Global warming just God being overprotective of the thermostat

Global warming is one of the greatest challenges to our future. But there’s more than one side to this story. Ever since learning about climate change and how global warming is a scam created by the Chinese to sell fans in the 6th grade, I knew that there was something fishy about it, and not […]

Ruffles' new “Lady Ruffles” product promises to please. Graphic by Madeline Woods

Lady Doritos: a victory for feminism

In response to Frito-Lay’s breakthrough new product line, other big companies are announcing lady-specific products. As a woman, I often find it difficult to enjoy my favorite snack foods when I’m out on the town. Chips, in particular, are often a strain on my delicate sensibilities. They are simply too loud and messy to be […]

Eye contact deemed micro-cheating in new study

A group of infidelity experts published research on the hazards that eye contact with a platonic friend can have on a relationship. A recent study in “The Journal of Relational and Sexual Dysfunction” informed readers of the newest travesty in the world of infidelity: eye-contact. The three experts, Dr. Ho of the University of Djibouti, […]

A student walking out of the Chick-Fil-A bathroom. Graphic by Madeline Woods

What students really do in on-campus bathrooms

Get the most out of your bathroom visits across campus by thinking outside the stall. Oliphant, third floor: cry. The cleaning staff never disturb you; they’ll only give you a half-hearted glance and leave you in peace. The emptiness plus the warmth from the windows makes you feel like you’re cocooned with only the weight […]

I wanted to show you a photo of the new logo but it was deemed inappropriate. Graphic by Adam Lux

Cleveland Indians to replace Chief Wahoo with more racist logo

Fans speculate over what the baseball team’s new, even more racist, logo will be. People have long worried that the infamous Chief Wahoo is too politically correct. The Indians General Manager is finally changing this. “We need to step up the racism around here,” he said. “I mean, we barely offend 10 percent of the […]

TU run by secret society of campus cats

A club of square and sushi-loving cats are the true puppeteers of TU’s day-to-day operations, according to Wilson Mann. To most, the cats that roam the University of Tulsa are a cute and welcome sight, or at the very least a small reprieve from the mundanity of existence. But to one student, these cats are […]

Google’s Arts & Culture app lacks class

TU undesirable used a recent update to the Google Arts & Culture app, which matches their face to a famous painting, and it ended as well as you’d expect. Yet again, Silicon Valley has slighted me. In many cases, being compared to a work of art is flattering. However, when Google tells me my selfie […]

Bruno Mars wins every award possible because he deserves them

The R&B singer wins a Nobel Prize, Fields Medal and the Women’s Caucus for Art Lifetime Achievement award. In light of Bruno Mars picking up a completely deserved six Grammys last week, the world needs to know a few more recent awards Mars has received. For example, many would argue that he was even more […]