Five North Korean beauty products that will blow you away

13 April 2017
Sam Chott, Oppressively moisturized

We know that South Korean beauty products are big, but have you seen these amazing products from the North?

5. People’s Beauty Products “Buckwheat Face Mask”
Most face masks either exfoliate or moisturize. This face mask, made with buckwheat proteins and wheat berries, does both at the same time. While gently exfoliating your face to deal with oily skin, this mask will also detoxify and hydrate your skin. The secret to creating the mask is to have underfed and underpaid peasants grind the grains incredibly finely.

4. People’s Beauty Products “Kongbap Facial Moisturizer”
Everybody uses a moisturizer, but not everyone uses a good one. Some moisturizers can leave you feeling oily and can rub off on your sheets if you use them at night. This moisturizer, made from a blend of black glutinous rice and azuki beans, soaks into your skin in a matter of minutes, meaning that you’ll feel light and fresh for hours. It’s actually made from a blend of rice and beans that’s commonly served to political prisoners.

3. People’s Beauty Products “Clear Nose Mask”
This nose mask, made with minerals taken from the Nyŏngbyŏn province, will clean out your pores while taking off dead skin and oily residue. Its remarkable ability to do this is aided by the fact that the minerals used to make it are from near the Yongbyon Nuclear Scientific Research Center, meaning that it lightly irradiates your skin to help you get a deeper, cleaner feeling than less dangerous nose masks. Bonus: thanks to added rosemary essential oil, it’s a joy to wear!

2. People’s Beauty Products “Supreme Leader’s Eye Mask”
Allegedly used by Kim Jong-un himself at the end of a long day, these eye masks will deal with puffy eyes and dark circles. Whether you’re just staying in or you’re about to order the purging of a general who disappointed you, this eye mask will have you feeling revitalized.

1. People’s Beauty Products “Destroy the Enemies Concealer”
This amazingly creamy concealer will hide dark spots and blemishes, and it comes in 30 different shades, so no matter your skin tone, you can use this concealer. In addition, it won’t run or settle into fine lines, and it provides a small amount of SPF, protecting your skin from sun damage. 100 percent of the proceeds from this concealer go directly to the North Korean Military, so you, and your skin, can feel good about this purchase.

This article was sponsored by the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.