It’s a good day for ignoring the pit in your stomach at the thought of seeing your advisor because it’s that part of the semester. Since your professor still hasn’t put in the grades for your midterm, you don’t even know if you’re going to pass that Block 1 or will need to take three more next spring. Don’t get too spooked, or… maybe you should. Welcome to the spooky edition of The Weekly Yak! Even before Halloween, some scary things have been happening on campus. From bowls of oil, to scoot-by shootings, to sudden rainfall in the midst of a burn ban, TU has obviously been hexed. It was almost as scary as seeing my TA get blackout drunk at Oktoberfest and then sit casually in the front of the classroom the next morning.
But don’t be too alarmed! Not everything is coming as a surprise except the top 10 posts on Yik Yak from this past week. I know that things are about to get interesting as soon as a mass email is sent to the entire student body, but I didn’t know that people had so many opinions about fire. Okay, cavemen, here you go. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks and those in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:
“In place of a bonfire we should blow up keplinger” – Tulsa
“The most addictive drug in the world is skipping class” – Tulsa
“The LOONY LEFTIST administration at the Failing University of Tulsa won’t let us hold a BIG beautiful bonfire- even though we do every year! SAD! The Fake News Media wants you to stay silent. Many such cases!” – Tulsa
“No bonfire, but at least we have a good football team to cheer on during the game Saturday! Oh wait” – Tulsa
“Do y’all every say ‘my bad’ to someone when it’s unequivocally their bad” – Tulsa
“Thought of winter break keeping me going. KEEP FIGHTING BROTHERS/SISTERS. DONT LOSE SIGHT OF THE MISSION! LETS MAKE MAGIC HAPPEN!!” – Tulsa
“If your boyfriend lives in a first floor apartment in Brown he is cheating on you girlie. I see him invite diff girls after u leave (side eye emoji)” – Tulsa
“Just walked past a tour group and they all stared at me like a zoo animal” – Tulsa
“The bus driver told me to out drink myself from the previous night and that is one of the few things I remember” – Tulsa
“Just rode a lime scooter for the first time and I think my penis shrunk” – Tulsa
All TU students know is Sol, charge their lime scooter, rave, be bad at football, eat hot chip and lie. This is all that went through my head when I selected my personal favorite posts from this past week:
“Whipping out your bratwurst and drunkenly pissing in the trough next to your brüder has to be the most valuable cultural experience on offer at Oktoberfest” – Tulsa
“They call me skid mark, but not because of my driving” – Tulsa
“Alright I’m walking on to the team, I’ll do it myself” – Tulsa
“TU more like pee yew” – Tulsa
“I fear the football players are not smarter than a 5th grader” – Tulsa
Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens. Free Palestine.
