Governor Stitt backs Trump, calling activists “crazies.” Oklahoma State University released a statement on Apr. 8 saying that the federal government had revoked 8 of their international students’ visas, which was followed by Oklahoma Central University and Oral Roberts University declaring that a number of their students — four at OCU and two at ORU […]
Aries: “Who’s gooning to the green m&m,” “lol why does Tucker Carlson even care,” “who tf is attracted to an m&m in shoes,” I WAS GOONING TO THE GREEN M&M!! SHE WAS ALL I HAD, AND NOW SHE’S GONE! THIS IS YOU WOKE COLLEGE STUDENTS’ FAULTS! I LOVED HER! I… I loved her. Taurus: Stay […]
Collegian Music Critic Aiden Hoogstra gives the inside scoop on this year’s artists. A highlight of the year for all students, the Battle of the Bands is a longstanding TU tradition that needs no introduction. Any student reading this knows all the ritual celebrations and legendary stories, from the annual kidnapping of the firstborn to […]
Aries: That’s it, Aries; the stars are fed up with your negative karma. As punishment, at some point in the future, you will bite into a cheetoh which is inexplicably wet – not with any identifiable liquid, just sopping wet and mealy n shi. Worst of all, you can’t know when it happens, just that […]
Officials deny Atlantic Editor in Chief Jeffrey Goldberg’s claim about confidential information. The national security advisor of the United States added a civilian to a group chat which included Vice President J.D. Vance, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth and CIA Director John Ratcliffe, along with several other major players in the White House. The group […]
Aries: The sun is in retrograde. This is not so much an astrological omen as it is a real world physics problem. Basically, we have around twenty four hours before the solar system implodes and the Earth is hurled into the center of a massive planetary collision. TL;DR you no longer need to worry about […]
We saved TU nearly $20 on frivolities like ink and wages” touts Musk in an otherwise unintelligible X post The Department Of Government Efficiency, a Trump administration budget slashing effort headed by world’s wealthiest man and owner of the nation’s most embarrassing hat collection Elon Musk, has been ramping up its quest to remove unnecessary […]
Aries: I hear hurricanes blowing, I know the end is coming soon. I fear rivers overflowing; I hear the voice of rage and ruin. Do not go around tonight, for it’s bound to take your life – there’s a bad moon on the rise. Alright. Taurus: I foresee two possible timelines this week: one where […]
As a result of Trump’s slew executive orders, the Administration attempted to freeze payouts. On Tuesday, Jan. 28, President Donald Trump’s attempted pause of all federal loans and grants was temporarily blocked by federal judge Loren L. AliKhan after several nonprofit organizations sued the federal government. Had the pause ordered on Jan. 27 by Matthew […]
Aries: Welcome back to the horoscopes!! We’ve made some changes since last semester: as a result of a certain former Collegian employee astral projecting in an unprofessional context, we’ve replaced him with a safer writer, without real astrological powers. This means that your horoscopes may not come true every time anymore. We apologize for the […]