Aries (March 20-April 19th): I can’t lie, this week is gonna be rough. Your chakras are all due to lock…
TU to receive 100% of power from Professor Drever, elliptical by 2027
Budget slashes force professor and interim dean to take on third position as power source. Gym-going students at the University…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): A rare astral event, All Hallow’s Eve will fall on a Friday, or Freya’s Day this…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars foresee deception: do not trust the 60° weather you feel at 8 AM, it…
2025 Homecoming Bonfire to be cardboard cutout
Administration awaits students’ gratitude for selfless decision to promote safety and lower carbon emissions. This Saturday, Oct. 18, administration at…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars predict that your study abroad application will be… rejected! Apparently the astrologer working for…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars see all comings and goings, and even they can’t tell you how that gecko…
Horoscopes
Aries (March 20-April 19th): As an astrologer, I listen to the stars. So if one blue, six-pointed star in particular…
Performative Male Competition successfully elevates female voices
Winner Yasmina Bruton declares herself the “king of performative males” after competitor forfeits. On Friday afternoon, the McFarlin steps at…
Album Review: “Devil’s Den” by Jesse Welles
Welles’ latest release preserves his reputation through growing fame, albeit with less consistency. When Jesse Welles re-emerged from his sabbatical…