Students have noticed something abnormal occurring on TU’s campus. Classes are a little colder. Angsty groans can be heard in the late hours. Whispers of slam poetry linger in the bowels of McFarlin Library. While some might consider these to be everyday occurrences, Sally Peterworth offers another explanation.
“At first I didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. Then I saw them. A pack of pale misunderstood creatures passed me. Goths have risen from their coffins.” Peterworth continued, “These people take the song Wake Me Up When September Ends a little too literally, hibernating all year, saving their scowls for this special time of the year.”
Peterworth isn’t the only one to have noticed these people of the night walking aimlessly around campus. Junior business major Alex Doogie, provides another testimonial to this phenomenon.
“My girlfriend Ashley was my entire life,” he declares. “Then she started reading Edgar Allen Poe for a class and, I dunno, something changed. She would always scoff at my ‘mainstream conformist bullshit.” For a while I thought she had turned into a hipster.”
“Then the make-up began,” Doogie said. “It started off subtly. A little black lipstick here. A couple piercings there. Nothing too odd. Then one day, she transformed. She sat me down and told me how she was going to leave for a long time. Then she got up, and left.”
When asked where she went, Doogie shrugged. “She told me not to go looking for her. It wasn’t until yesterday when I was in Geology that I noticed she came back. I mean I barely could recognize her behind those dark red contact lenses.”
Other students have reported similar issues this month, causing one to wonder if Halloween being around the corner has caused them to rise from the depths from whence they came.
“It’s possible,” offers Peterworth. “They don’t conform to anything, but Halloween is particularly alluring for the goth culture. Don’t be too surprised if they leave at the end of the month, and only rise again for an Evanescence concert or something.”
The State Run Media has yet to contact one of these students, but it seems they’re here to stay for the time being.