TU students are craving more food from the Caf and would much rather have a second Caf than ACAC.
Almost every week ends with not enough meal swipes and too many dreaded dining dollars. However, the location of ACAC is so convenient to students that they are forced to eat at these popular chain establishments. Thus, I have devised a plan to satisfy everyone: scrap the ACAC completely and put in another Caf.
I know what you’re thinking: how could the university possibly have the money to substitute such high-quality products? That’s where the genius of this plan comes into play.
First, to ensure the school can fund the renovation, the university could go from the Sodexo second-worst food-quality level out of five to the worst option, which is often served at prisons. If it’s good enough for inmates, it has to be good enough for students taking out a lifetime’s amount of loans!
The second brilliant part of my plan is that instead of having an entire buffet of far too many options, a meal swipe would get you into one of many stations that are in place. At Tossed, for example, you can still get a salad, only with the quality of produce that you get currently at the Caf, mold and all!
Another station included would be a mystery station, where it never serves what is on its menu and uses the scraps of the other stations as its main source of ingredients.
Why have so many options of when to eat? This just encourages unhealthy eating schedules. Instead, the Caf 0.5 would have even shorter hours, with only an hour opening for each meal. It would be open 7 – 8 a.m. to ensure that the students with early morning classes have time to get their meals, 11 a.m. – 12 p.m. for lunch to fix the dreaded noon rush created by students not having classes at that time, and 5 – 6 p.m. to ensure students don’t create unhealthy patterns of eating sugary foods before the average student bedtime of nine o’clock.
Also, to encourage healthier diets, an extra meal swipe would be required to get a dessert.
Due to the extra kitchen space needed, the Hut would also close permanently. This way, college students wouldn’t have to deal with being tempted by alcoholic beverages on campus ever again.
In the mornings, to eliminate the long lines that the omelet station brings, Caf 0.5 would instead have a station where they just hand you an egg to cook at the convenience of your spacious dorm or apartment kitchen.
This plan also helps promote businesses and economic growth by allowing students to pay their own money to get their favorite chains.
The future is now. Let your local SA member how much you want Caf 0.5 to be the change you want on campus.
