People take things too literally these days. Just because lyrics say the word weed doesn’t mean the song is about…
Libertarian proposal: keep the government shut down
As the government finally reopens, a new group is calling for an indefinite shutdown. The longest government shutdown in history…
South finally learns what a condom is, lowers birth rate
The South discovered that teaching people is important and started with sex education, which lowered the national birth rate. As…
Analog scooters scoot to popularity on campus
Students ride out the scooter phase the hipster way. Limes. Birds. Whatever model you prefer, there’s no denying the fact…
Largest drug bust of 2019 at… Olive Garden??
The unlimited soup and salad deal is in fact too good to be true. Have you wondered why your meals…
Brennen’s bangin’ baking bench: college edition
Move aside Mary Berry, millennial cooking is here to stay. Since the millennials and gen Z’ers apparently exaggerate the financial…
Baezos, the Bachelor that we deserve
There’s one good thing to come out of the richest man in the world’s divorce, and that is a starring…
Special interests cut out the middle congressman
Due to a new quirk in the election fine print, special interest groups took the places of the representatives they…
The Friendlighting Game — are you mentally prepared?
A new trend sweeping TU’s campus includes a friendly dose of psychological abuse. Fueled by sleep deprivation, “friendlighting” is a…
5 more surprising things that millennials killed
Millennials are at it again, and you’ll never believe what they killed this time! Every time you look at a…