In response to feminist icon Gloria Steinem’s recent show of support for Hillary Clinton, notable anti-feminist Phyllis Schlafly found herself…
Super-villain claims sole responsibility for global warming
Last Tuesday, in an event that shocked the world, a self-proclaimed “super-villain” floated down from his sky base to make…
Literally everyone but you had a fantastic Valentine’s Day
Once again the anniversary of some dude dying has come and gone. Hallmark and Ghirardelli are sitting nicely on the…
Potential graduates to do battle in gladiator-style arena
For years the University of Tulsa has maintained a troublesome secret graduation requirement: survive. The existence of this requirement, called…
President raises tuition from yacht
President Upham, who has had a total annual compensation of over one million dollars since at least 2008, recently announced…
Clinton/Sanders tie proves your opinion doesn’t matter
As anyone who has at least a remote interest in the future of this country knows, last Monday the Democratic…
State-Run Media Mad-Libs
_______________ introduces new ____________ -ridden mattresses The price of _______ makes up a large amount of both _______ and ______…
Lawmakers introduce very similar bills in long-standing one-upmanship contest
Last week in an unprecedented turn of events, two Oklahoma representatives proposed nearly identical bills, refusing to compromise one for…
The State-Run Media reviews: Monday Collegian meetings
I recently attended the weekly Collegian meeting, which takes place at 5 p.m. in Oliphant hall every Monday, to bring…
Letter from the Propagandist
Has anyone ever noticed how scary Oliphant is when the lights are out? Maybe it’s because I’m being held here…