Aries– Aries, the idea that the answers will just come to you during the test is a lie and you know it. You could try actually studying for once, it really will not kill you. Or you could do what we all know you’re going to and watch another episode. C’s get degrees, I guess.
Taurus– Try leaving campus for an hour or so this week, Taurus. At some point in time the union and your room are not enough to sustain yourself. Parks are nice, even a McDonald’s would suffice. A change of scenery might stop you from staring at the walls for hours, again.
Gemini– Now is not the time to pick another hobby, Gemini. You actually have homework to do, and the deadline for that paper is getting closer. You do not need to learn how to juggle right
now. You are never going to use it again in your life after The Incident anyway.
Cancer– Sorry to be the one to tell you this Cancer, but the hair really isn’t working. No one wanted to say it because they didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but it’s true. Maybe try a hat for the time being, just until you get all that figured out.
Leo– Leo, you do not have to be the one to talk in every class. Other people actually have thoughts and the guy sitting two seats behind you has something really important he needs to say this Thursday so maybe just let him talk instead.
Virgo– You need to eat some vegetables this week. It has been too long and they are calling your name. They are not going to make you sick, in fact, maybe they’ll help you get over that cough you’ve had for weeks that you swear is nothing.
Libra– That shared wall you have, Libra, well the person on the other side just started dating and it’s about to get annoying. Invest in some decent quality headphones before it starts, and maybe this is a sign that you need to get out of your room sometimes.
Scorpio– It’s time to meet some new people, Scorpio. It has been too long and you really need to stop relying on social media to fill the gap. Don’t worry, Oliphant 110 at 5pm on Tuesday is here to help. The people there will actually listen to your endless ramblings so you should try it out.
Sagittarius– Sagittarius, this week, your friend is going to invite you to a club meeting. But you are allowed to say no. You are already in too many and you know it. You do not have to say yes just because they said please. Save yourself some trouble and stay home.
Capricorn– Bugs, Capricorn, bugs. They are coming for you. Check your shoes before you put them on, wear bug spray when you go outside. Do not stop unnecessarily by any flowers. The bees are waiting. Check old door frames for nests because those wasps are looking for you.
Aquarius– It has been three weeks, Aquarius, you need to get that checked out. It will not go away because you decide to sleep on it again. It’s becoming a medical emergency, and before you actually have to go to a real doctor, you should finally set up a Hurricane Healthcare appointment.
Pisces– Pisces, go to bed early this Sunday. That mental breakdown you know is coming is waiting for a time when you’re vulnerable. And let’s face it, any thoughts you have about yourself, others, and the world at large after 2am are never valid.
