October has brought with it an onslaught of tragedies, from freshmen not expecting to need deodorant in autumn, to your Outlook calendar reminding you that it isn’t too late to get a 10% refund for dropping that one “elective” and even a kidnapped “The Weekly Yak” article from last week’s edition of The Collegian. Thanks to the dopamine addicts who were asking about her; she just needed a fall break.
Now, she’s back home, which is very fitting for Homecoming Week! I’m here as well, spreading joy and whatever. If you see me at the Ragin’ Cane event this week, no you didn’t. There’s nothing to rage about, though, because this week was very lively on Yik Yak. Looks like the entire student body had something to say about the particular stench on campus, and no, for once I’m not talking about the football team’s win-lose record. With a pinched nose and a giant coat I welcome you to The Weekly Yak and the top ten posts from this week on our lovely anonymous social app. As always, we refrain from reusing posts that were posted in previous weeks and those in which graphics provide the majority of the context for the posts:
“GUYS UP VOTE FOR LIGHTS ON TU DECORATED COOKIES (Need to show SAB evidence)” – Tulsa
“Lime scooter son or political chalker daughter (pondering emoji)” – Tulsa
“Give KA’s house to BYX” – Tulsa
“Definitely feel like it’s been midterm week for 4 [redacted] weeks” – Tulsa
“Pike KA Football lime scooters brat carson Israel Palestine ‘can we think of something original’ ‘I need a bf/gf’ Scruggs Sepand Weekly Yak Pike Pledge #16 Shark Therapy Guy sidewalk chalkers rush tuah” – Tulsa
“Hey if y’all stole the sorority banner pretty please give it back.” – a sorority girl who spent 8 hours painting it
“Petition to have one (1) restaurant on campus stay open later than 7pm on a weekend. Subway doesn’t count” – Tulsa
“Anyone else beyond annoyed that the entire campus smells like dookie” – Tulsa
“If you’re horny or lonely, SHUT THE [REDACTED] UP this app is for promoting alcoholism and mercilessly bullying the sports teams” – Tulsa
Thanks to those who are still reading, and those who asked about me in the app last week. You have been featured in my favorite posts from this week:
“Only ugly people don’t pick up after their dogs” – Tulsa
“No point in reading the newspaper when there’s no yak! Sorry not sorry!” – donkeyluvesshrek
“No weekly yak? Did we disappoint Hannah that much?” – Tulsa
“I thought we left casually wearing the knee brace in high school” – Tulsa
“The campus still smelling bad is the reason i failed midterms” – Tulsa
“BRING THE WEEKLY YAK BACK TO THE COLLEGIAN” – Tulsa
Do you want your Yaks to be featured next week on The Collegian? Be funny. Make Hannah laugh. That rarely happens. Free Palestine.
