In an event that authorities can only describe as “creepy,” last Friday Jane Doe, a Junior majoring in anthropology, was found to have a skeleton hiding inside her body.
According to reports, Ms. Doe was visiting a nearby health clinic for a routine check-up when her doctor, on a whim, decided to take an x-ray.
“It was hard for me to believe at first,” says Dr. John, Jane’s doctor, “but there it was staring right at me. This poor girl has a skeleton inside of her, and I have absolutely no idea how to get it out.”
After discussions with a few other equally-confused physicians, Dr. John decided the best immediate course of action was to place Ms. Doe in quarantine until more can be discovered about her condition.
In response to the incident, TU has gathered up an international consortium of doctors, aimed at developing a revolutionary new surgery to remove the skeleton from Jane Doe.
Although she herself is unavailable for contact, Ms. Doe’s family has announced that while Doe is terrified of what’s inside her, she remains hopeful that she will come through this horror.
Doctors also expressed concern that Jane had contact with other students at the University before her skeleton was discovered, and her condition might be contagious.
“It’s a scary thought,” Dr. John informed State-Run reporters, “What if we didn’t put her into isolation fast enough, and there’s a skeleton hiding inside of all us?”