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Aiden Hoogstra

34 posts
Chair moved in Starbucks: 5 deaf 12 injured
Posted in Satire State-Run

Chair moved in Starbucks: 5 deaf 12 injured

on 11 November 202511 November 2025

Hurricane health center overwhelmed with burst-eardrum cases. FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 7th, paramedics arrived at the University of Tulsa’s Starbucks franchise in…

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Horoscopes
Posted in Home State-Run

Horoscopes

on 10 November 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars are aligned for you Aries! You’re on top of the world this week; no…

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Horoscopes
Posted in Satire State-Run

Horoscopes

on 4 November 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): I can’t lie, this week is gonna be rough. Your chakras are all due to lock…

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TU to receive 100% of power from Professor Drever, elliptical by 2027
Posted in Satire State-Run

TU to receive 100% of power from Professor Drever, elliptical by 2027

on 4 November 20255 November 2025

Budget slashes force professor and associate dean to take on third position as power source. Gym-going students at the University…

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Horoscopes
Posted in Home State-Run

Horoscopes

on 27 October 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): A rare astral event, All Hallow’s Eve will fall on a Friday, or Freya’s Day this…

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Horoscopes
Posted in State-Run

Horoscopes

on 20 October 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars foresee deception: do not trust the 60° weather you feel at 8 AM, it…

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2025 Homecoming Bonfire to be cardboard cutout
Posted in Home State-Run

2025 Homecoming Bonfire to be cardboard cutout

on 20 October 2025

Administration awaits students’ gratitude for selfless decision to promote safety and lower carbon emissions. This Saturday, Oct. 18, administration at…

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Horoscopes
Posted in State-Run

Horoscopes

on 20 October 202520 October 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars predict that your study abroad application will be… rejected! Apparently the astrologer working for…

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Horoscopes
Posted in Satire State-Run

Horoscopes

on 6 October 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): The stars see all comings and goings, and even they can’t tell you how that gecko…

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Horoscopes
Posted in Home Satire

Horoscopes

on 29 September 2025

Aries (March 20-April 19th): As an astrologer, I listen to the stars. So if one blue, six-pointed star in particular…

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