So, should I wake him up or nah? He’s starting to smell. Listen, I hate being woken up when I’m…
Students arrested for playing IRL Mario Kart
The students caused absolute chaos recreating the popular racing game. Chaos broke out on campus last Tuesday as five students…
TU mecha-bike robot on scooter rampage
A string of campus bike burglaries led to a chilling mechanized discovery. Where the hell are all the campus bikes…
TU Copy sealed away for our safety
What lies do that drywall and plaster cover up? We have all seen that little space that used to be…
Pizza Hut to replace all campus dining options
Due to health concerns and a lettuce foot fungus incident, TU closes almost all its restaurants. Last week, a photo…
Karen please take me back
Woman dumps boyfriend after he kills her house plants. A man named Travis of Monterey, California came to our offices…
Why is no one asking me about my screenplay?
I’m far too talented to be treated like this. This is absolutely ridiculous. I’ve been sitting in this coffee shop…
New undeniable proof that ghosts exist: my ex-wife
Local woman becomes a ghost to “ghost” her wife. Last Monday, history was made. Scientists have finally proved that ghosts…
TU engineering student lost in Phillips Hall
Despite multiple search parties, campus security have yet to free the student from building. TU engineer Sarah N. Dipity wandered…
7 (sleeping) positions to revolutionize your nightlife
Wanna spice things up in the bedroom? Try out these hawt positions tonight. We’ve all experienced the worst feeling known…