There are many different options for what to do with Kendall Hall, but which option is the best?
Unless you are horrifically unobservant, you most certainly heard that The University of Tulsa cut the theater degree program, and this year, the doors to Kendall Hall have been permanently closed. Well, except for TUTV; for anything else, a student or faculty member needs to call campo to be let in for.
Kendall Hall, the golden example of why TU should not have an architecture program because as fun as it is to say on tours that the building has no right angles, it is actually quite difficult to get around a building with no right angles. Especially when that building is used during theater performances and those hallways are being maneuvered in the dark with equipment that is far too heavy to deal with this bullshit.
That is why I would like to formally propose to TU everything we can do with Kendall Hall. Even though it was a nuisance, it is unfortunate to have it locked up, and even though it was difficult to use for theater productions, I am positive one of these applications is far more advantageous.
Mega Frat House
Those current houses are enormous and gaudy; imagine how much easier it would be to streamline all of the frats into one location. Creating a mega frat house out of Kendall Hall would encourage community and friendly competition among the frat brothers. Who knows what can be done in those endless mazes of hallways. No one would ever be able to prove that they are hazing within the walls of a dead theater building. It would certainly also make frat parties more entertaining.
Fisher South 2.0
Now that the beloved freshmen dorm has been closed, where else can freshmen go to gain that first year experience like no other in sketchy rooms down suspicious hallways? Turning Kendall Hall into a freshmen dorm would be a bonding experience for everyone to reminisce on the dank environment many TU students called home for as short an amount of time as they could.
President Carson’s Office
Brad deserves a building as complex as he is, and I think Kendall Hall would make for terrific stomping grounds. With a variety of rooms to host meetings in, sometimes you would not even know where the meeting is taking place. It may be easy for guests to get lost, but do not be alarmed. While turning down a new hallway with ever growing anxiety, unable to find where your very important meeting is taking place, you will get first hand experience with how this building truly has no right angles.
Goldie’s Playground
I am going to be totally honest: I have no idea where Goldie is. I see her at games and at admission events, but where is she the rest of the time? Goldie needs a playground well-deserving of her celebrity status, and with the insane square footage that comes with Kendall Hall, there is no better place. Maybe she will chase down a rat or old show props, but it would certainly make for a good time.
Oxley College
Why have your students drive off campus every single day for classes that they could be taking right here on campus? There’s plenty of space within the walls for the animatronics any nursing student could need to practice on. The building may be dimly lit, but that’s okay because it’s training nursing students for some of the worst case scenarios. If one major is going to be removed from TU, might as well have another slip into its place.
Bookstore
Yes, I know that we just opened a new bookstore, but some reviews claim the room is cramped, and just as many people want Hurricane Hut back so they can spend their dining dollars on beer. What I propose is bringing back the Hut and putting the bookstore in Kendall Hall. It’s the epitome of space, allowing for rows of clothing racks to take over along with dedicated space to pick up your textbooks. Now that our textbooks are paid for us thanks to our student loans tackling our ever growing tuition bills, we need a larger space for all those books, and Kendall Hall will get that done.
Parking Lot
The best possible idea, though, even better than using the space, is to absolutely demolish it and leave nothing in its wake but a parking lot. Yes, instead of overselling lots, we can simply make an add-on of the McFarlin lot now on the hill right next to our gorgeous library. Simply jump the curb, and you can keep your Chevy Silverado in a parking spot right in the middle of our beautiful campus. Maybe now you will be able to avoid being late for class.
