Unplanned sequel explores post-Roe world. How will Planned Parenthood respond? Can the Pro-Life Rebellion defeat them?
This film stars Chris Pratt who is set to portray Mario, an Italian immigrant plummer who moved to the states to pursue trickle down economics and a protestant lifestyle. Recently converted from Catholicism, he meets Abby Johnson, the newly single protagonist from the first film and they fall in love.
After Roe v. Wade falls, the most powerful organization on earth, Planned Parenthood, launches an invasion of Oklahoma from their stronghold in Kansas–where they have already bought the state government–in hopes of taking the capital and relegalizing abortion. When Mario and Abby learn of this, they concoct a plan to bomb every Planned Parenthoods in Kansas. After studying Ted Kaczynsk to learn the intricacies of the US mail system, they begin their revolution.
While most of the film takes place in Kansas and Oklahoma City, they chose Broken Arrow for filming because, as the lead set designer we interviewed explained, “it really looks like America, you know? Everyone here is a red-blooded, white-skinned and blue-lives-matter-supporting American. Just as our founding fathers intended when they designed our nation’s flag.” Also, he mentioned, “they wouldn’t let us film anywhere else. You have no idea how many times we were chased out with pitchforks and the occasional automatic machine gun. For example, when we tried to film in Kansas, Westboro Church threw rocks at us because apparently we are ‘too liberal’ for them. At least now I know someone will attend my funeral.”
The film has many influential sponsors, namely Clarence Thomas, Mike Pence and Joseph Robinette Biden–who later put out an apology saying he thought the film was about accidentally becoming President of the United States, an issue he “takes very personally.” We reached out to Clarence Thomas for comment on the film but only received a memo from his staff stating, “the Honorable Judge Clarence Thomas regrettably is too preoccupied with deciding which human right to attack first. While he is leaning torwards the something with the gays, he might change his mind and declare Title IX unconstitutional first.”
We also reached out to Vice President Mike Pence for comment but have yet to receive a response and our editorial staff would like to formally recommend that someone performs a welfare check on him as no one has heard from him in about a year.
The film is set to release in 2024 ahead of the next presidential elections and casting calls are now open for extras who want to play Planned Parenthood thugs (blue hair and “I’m With Her” tattoos required, minorities preferred). All roles playing pro-life Christian rebels have already been cast after they went to Chick-fil-A and asked the 50 people queuing outside the restaurant at opening time, all of whom immediately signed up.
At press time we received word that the filming had been put on temporary hiatus because the director discovered that stealing people’s baby’s to use as props is, in fact, illegal.
