In light of friends’ experiences with her boyfriend, Amanda Smith almost realizes that just because someone calls himself an equalist doesn’t make him a nice guy.
Amanda Smith, a sophomore chemical engineering student at the University of Tulsa, broke down in tears Wednesday after returning from the mall. Her boyfriend of three weeks, Brad Donald, called her a bitch. When she confronted him, Donald shrugged, saying that “you call your friends bitches all the time!”
Smith shook her head furiously. “He never does stuff like this.”
Their friends rolled their eyes when asked about the issue. “He once slapped me because I punched my boyfriend on the shoulder after he made fun of my hair. He said it was just him being fair,” one said.
“He licked his lips and stared at my chest when he asked if I was going to join the ‘free the nipple’ movement. He got out his phone and everything,” Aly Carter chimed in, covering her face with her hands.
“Maybe he was just looking down then, at his phone!” the lone male friend in the group bravely defended.
“Boob-stare time is, like, twice as long as real world time,” Carter argued back. The girls in the group nodded solemnly. “Plus, when I gave him a dirty look, he said that he just trying to be an equalist and that I should be able to walk around shirtless too.”
Another of Smith’s friends, Molly Trevino, said Donald had asked her for a threesome with her and Smith, for “Smith’s benefit.”
“He asked me if I’d ever kissed a girl, and before I could answer, said I’d really love eating her out, even though she ‘smelled like fish and needed to take better care of herself,’” Trevino said.
Smith first fell for Donald during their political science class. “He started arguing that women should be included in the draft, calling himself an equalist, and that was so hot,” she exclaimed through tears.
Carter also remembered this moment but also remembered him saying those women shouldn’t be surprised if they were sexually assaulted in their service, as “boys have needs.”
Smith wiped her tears, staring into the distance. “I guess you can never really know what someone’s like until you’re on day three of your kale-only cleanse he suggested you needed while he eats a whole supreme pizza in front of you,” she said.
“Baby,” Donald calls from the room over. “It’s your turn to do dinner.”
“What can you do, I love him,” she says, sipping her kale smoothie.