Come get your horoscopes! Aries — Aries, this week’s prediction is fortuitous! I will be living in your intestines and…
A love letter to Sodexo
Nowhere at TU can you find a more diverse culture than in the beloved Pat Case dining center. Mold. I…
Valentine’s Day tips, as told by a man who is clearly going through something
Valentine’s Day is so hard to navigate, and in college, it’s a whole new battlefield. We found a heterosexual man…
Top 5 lies all TU University Ambassadors are allowed to tell you
Before University Ambassadors are sent back to the factory for tour reconditioning, here is a list of the best lies…
I found myself studying abroad
And I have found that I am better than you. I know that this sounds cliche but now that I’m…
Hurricane Spotlight: the guy who loudly plays his music on the way to class
Who is this unknowable figure? Why does he inflict outdated Eminem upon the innocent? The ripples of the pandemic still…
Horoscopes
Horoscopes from The Collegian! Aquarius — This week, you will be struck with acute wanderlust—you’re traveling, Aquarius! Your journeys will…
TU’s Starfish system authorizes professors to reward student success with sweet little kisses
The Starfish interface hopes to facilitate student success with the sweetest, warmest, kindest brush of the lips. TU’s recently established…
Origin of TU’s horse torment nexus revealed by student sleuth
Students may never recover from the fleshy paste strewn upon campus, the creatures’ cries with no godly business in the…
Traps places around campus to lure the Omnicron variant
With no other avenues to follow, the COVID-19 mitigation efforts of TU are trying any half-sensible idea. As the Omicron…